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She was with another guy during our break

Tagged as: Breaking up, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 March 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 4 March 2011)
A age 30-35, * writes:

now i have a question me and my gf have been in an up and down relationship for about a year and 7 months now during our break up she had drunken sex with some guy and it hurt me so much cause i still loved her so much and now that we're back together i can't get my mind off of what happen and because of it i don't think i can have sex with her again. i know she deeply regrets doing what she did but i don't know if we can have sex the same way and i'm worried. we still do foreplay but we haven't had sex for months now. what can i do? (no pun intended)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you for the advice but the only thing i'm scared off is the thought popping into my head if we ever had sex again cause the real reason we don't do is because we have no time or place to get intimate and i'm scared that the thought will pop in my head and i won't be able to do it with her

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A female reader, raiders United States +, writes (2 March 2011):

raiders agony auntIn reality she did nothing wrong because you two were not together. When you two broke up thier were no guranteeds that you two were going to get back together so she moved on. This happens often, but if you can't let go of this insecurity you are feeling than maybe it is best to move on. Their is not much she can do and the truth is its not her fault because she didnt cheat. I understand that at times its hard to accept this but if you really love her, you will try to make this relationship work.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (2 March 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntYou just need to accept it and move on, there is nothing you can do now that will change the past. As you get older you will meet people who have had all sorts of pasts and have slept with a few different partners but this shouldnt stop you from getting to know someone and falling for them because it is in the past. She made a mistake and she was single so techniqually she never done nothing wrong. Yes off course it hurt you but you have chosen to restart the relationship so that means putting it behind you.

What exactly is stopping you from having sex with her? Is it the fact that she has been with someone else? If that is the case then you need to look at it realistically, you and her broke up and she obviously was hurting as well so she found comfort in the next bloke that came along, but it was only a one night stand and I bet she regretted it as soon as she done it and I bet that it was nothing compared to having sex with you. See the difference with a one night stand and you was that you were in a relationship and she would feel more relaxed and at ease with you because you are in love with each other. With the one night stand it would have just been sex and nothing else no feelings or nothing. So really you have nothing to worry about. You need to accept that its done and move on or else you will find yourself on your own again. Goodluck.

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