A
male
age
41-50,
*lifdomatic
writes:i he been with my girl for a yr and half now -we both in the military due to the war it force us to spent some time apart -i gave her all a man can give a woman from spending all my time with her to giving her my last with no regrets -in april we were trying to have our first child but during that i found out she was emailling some guy she use to mess with which is the gulf right now far far from us before that she misses him and she' ll do any thing just to see his smile and she doesnt believe on having a cake and nothing eat it too when i confront her she told me she told the guy that because she thought she was going to lose me i was going to leave so that was her excuse but thoughts of me being somebody else never cross my mind and during that time she was living with me so she never confine her true thoughts to me i dont want to be second when im putting u first u know -now she tells me shes going to change she love me she ll do ne thing for me -i trust her and i love her to death i gave her my all but should i stay in this relationship fearing history might repeat it self or should i move on
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, klifdomatic +, writes (25 June 2007):
klifdomatic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI MEAN AT THE TIME WE WAS TRYING TO HAVE A BABY WE ARGUE LIKE EVERY COUPLE U KNOW BUT SHE HOLD GRUDGES I FIND OUT WHILE WE WAS STILL TOGETHER -I HAD MY HOUSE PAPER WORK ON HER EMAIL ADRESS SINCE SHES ON A BOAT SHE COULDNT CHECK HER YAHOO MAIL SO SHE GAVE ME THE PASSWORD -I NEVER GIVE HER A REASON NOT TO TRUST ME SHE NEVER DID TILL I SAW HER TELLING HER X THAT SHE MISS HIM AND WISH THEY COULD CHILL AND SHE DOESNT UNDERSTAND Y SHE CANT HAVE A CAKE AND EAT IT TOO
A
female
reader, mcbirdie  +, writes (25 June 2007):
 Goodness. There is an awful lot going on in this email.
I think a couple of important questions in determing what you should do come down to--first, how did you find these emails? Did she tell you or did you look through her things? If you looked through her things, why? Did you not trust her before?
Second, what was her intentions with her emails to him? You say that she said she wanted to make him smile and that she was concerned you were leaving her--why? Did she have reason to think that your relationship with her was going to end? Did she have any intentions of making a relationship with this other guy work?
I do not understand why you end your question by saying that you trust her--if you trust her, why would you worry about staying with her?
In short, this whole thing is a bit of a tangle. If she was emailing with another guy because she thought her relationship with you was ending and now she thinks you two have a future, I suppose you could trust her not to continue. But if she was emailing him behind your back while still with you--and you distrusted her enough to check what she was up to--I would have concerns about the longevity of this relationship.
Best of luck.
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