A
male
age
41-50,
*llergic2liars
writes:She was dating a co-worker that I didn't know about until I had reason to check her texts messages. If I had not done so I believe she would have kept it going. She told me that she has only been out with him twice once with other co-workers and another time with her girlfriend. She said that nothing went on between them the only thing she said happened was she shared a kiss with him at his place after poping in a pizza before going out for drinks. Women out there tell me how possiable is that to happen, just to share a kiss at a guys place that you have a desire for? I think it's a bunch of crap...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): Your name allergic to liars suggests you feel she is lying and cannot accept her behaviour. Put some space between you and think about what you want from a relationship, and whether that is what you are getting from her.
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (27 February 2008):
 well the first thing you need to think about is whether or not you consider kissing cheating - if my partner kissed someone else i would consider that cheating and would not be able to trust him - especially knowing that this person worked with him. its up to you - if you do decide to belive her and stay with her - can you be comfortable knowing that she is still going into work everyday and seeing him? if you cant and you find that you cant trust her, then i would suggest moving on - without trust there is no real reason to hang around. wat she has said could be all true but at the end of the day she did kiss him, there is attraction, they are obviously still attracted. and knowing that she should have kept the social contact to a minimum in work - no texts. as i said its up to you wat you feel you can deal with.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (27 February 2008):
 Hi,
What was in the text messages?. Do you feel that it was innocent, because if the text messages dont hint to anything sexual, she could be telling the truth.
I was friends with my boss for years without anything happening, and he was in love with me. If my boyfriend at the time hadnt been so horrid to me, I would never have crossed the line. For nearly 8 years I was totally faithfull and tried everything to make my relationship work. My Ex always thought there was something going on, but there wasnt.
We did end up together but only because my ex pushed me away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): Anything can and does happen. You can go through life with someone and never ever know them, so yes, it is possible and if you hadnt checked up then yes, she would of kept it from you. sorry but life can be crap at times, i know at first hand.
take care.xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): I note you previously discussed your girlfriend coming up with a story concerning a missing condom.
Im sorry to say that from an unemotionally attached outside view she is almost certainly cheating on you.
I could of course have it wrong - but that is my opinion of the picyure you have painted.Try to look at it from the 'outside'. If someone else had put these scenarios to you - what would you conclude?
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (27 February 2008):
 I'm gonna be blunt, and people don't like blunt, but here it goes. The answer is only three words, my friend.
RUN FROM THIS!!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): I am sorry...how painful for you. We don't how far anyone goes, with temptations in life. I will say, I do think females tend to romanticize another man, while men will sexualize another woman. So it's possible she did 'just' kiss him and it went no further. But....why is she 'acting out ' like this in the first place? No matter what, cheating, even desiring and kissing another, is a delibrate choice and that choice is a lack of control over one's actions. So...I feel that when anyone cheats, there simply has to be a big empty 'disconnect' in their love, emotions and committment to their dating partner. It means your relationship has come cracks that need repairing, if you choose to stay and work on this, with her. But, what she's forgetting most, is now you are seeing a portion of the her character that is truly questionable. The trust has been shaken to it's foundation here and you have to ask...if continuing on is worth it to you. To continue loving someone who has shown the intent to cheat, can cause a person to hate themselves for tolerating such a thing and quite honestly, that's too big of a price for some people to pay. Especially to someone who thought absolutely 'nothing of you', to do this in the first place. So...you have a big decision to make. Can you both work this out or will this knowlege of what you know about her...take you and this relationship down? This a big issue that you need to address and talk to her about.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 February 2008):
 Do you think she is a cheap and immoral woman and would sleep with her friends ?
Ask yourself this question and it will answer your agonized soul.
Don't let your imaginations run wild.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (27 February 2008):
 Hi
Its possible, but me being a realist would be thinking along the lines you are.
You have 2 choices, accept what she says and work on things, or leave.
It certainly is possible thats all that happened, but how are you gonna feel when you know shes at work everyday?
Tricky one.
C xxxxx
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