A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i am a lesbian who has been with my partner for 12yrs.i have cheated on my wife a few times several years ago and told her everything a couple of years ago.during all of this i realized how nieve and weak i was. i took people for face value. i allowed people to have control over me. Initially i would tell them that i was in a relationship and how i loved my wife deeply and to plz respect that. well these people would persist and i have gone to the point of pushing them off. then they would apologize over and over and me thinking they wont try this again i end up being a fool and give in.i never went out seeking. all this time my wife told me she forgave me and lets get pass. i have apologized to my wife many many times over the years and i have told her it was nothing she did...it was all me. she said she forgave me lets move forward and all of the sudden she is not in love and she wants out. i have made changes over the years. i thought we were moving forward all these years and now it over. can i do anything.....i really love her and according to her she love me too. plz help.i have not cheated since and will not again.Mod Note: A lesbian with a wife? I don't understand that. Does anyone?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (11 December 2007):
 Dear Mod: just because gay marriages aren't recognised by law doesn't mean that they aren't recognised in every other way. I think if a woman has been with a woman for a long time, had one of those commitment ceremonies, maybe had a couple of kids together, always makes excuses not to come out by saying things like "Sorry I'm busy Saturday, I promised Judy I'd stay in and help repaint the kitchen"... yeah, that's her wife.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (11 December 2007):
 Just tell her how you feel, and if she still wants to leave, that is her choice. Even if you could stall her leaving for a bit, if she really wants to leave, she eventually will.
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