A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I've got a serious misunderstanding with my girlfriend. We've been together for 8 months, I love her and I hope she loves me too. This february we started planning our summer trip abroad, let's call this country Telaxia. We have decided to go to our second capital city, St. Petersburg, first. It's cool, all the sightseing and stuff. Then she discovered her favourite band, let's call it Vulcan Screamers, was going to have a concert there, so we agreed to go there together.But yesterday her girl friend showed up, saying that she wanted to go see Vulcan Screamers live in a different city on almost the same date. So my gf said, that since I'm not much of a fan, she'll go with her and that we'll have to change the date of our trip.But the thing is, I've got circumstances (this new schedule severely conflicts with my mom's, since we can't leave our dog ho,e alone), under which this is the only date I can go for a trip on.She's well aware of that. She still chooses her over me. We had an argument, but didn't acheive anything. She thinks it's allright and if I'm not OK with it, I'm an idiot who can't understand anything.I'm confused. What should I do? Forget the whole matter? Get her to respect me? Break up? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2012): there is a name for this kind of girl: "control freak"
if she tries to override your plans with her own's, the she is a control freak. most of the girls are like this, but there are levels. some of them you can live with, some others are terribly annoying.
if she has done it before, she will definitely continue to do it in the future. so you have to think if you really want to have a future with her or not.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 Play it cool. Then see what happens. I this case it sounds like maybe your girlfriend is prioritizing wrongly, or she is testing you, or she just needs some time to set herself straight. The best way to find out what you should do is to delay your response.
By this I mean, pretend that everything is fine. Tell her that you want her to be happy and enjoy her concert with her friend. Unfortunately, that means that you and her will not be able to go on vacation together. Just say it as a matter of fact. Tell her that this is unfortunate, but that if this is what she really wants, see the concert with her friend, then so be it. You are not going to try to talk her out of it (you shouldn't have to either).
Tell her if she changes her mind she'll have to tell you before next week (or whatever day fits you) so that you can still book the trip. If she has not made up her mind by then then you'll not be able to go on a vacation with her this summer. Period. Do not be mad at her, or angry with her. Instead try to act happy and nonchalant. Tell her it is her choice.
Then wait and see what happens. If she respects you and your relationship, and the agreement you and her had to go on vacation together, then she will understand that you really can not go at another time, and keep to her plans with you.
If she is not serious about your relationship or you, and wants to go with her friend instead, then you can decide if you want to continue the relationship with her, or if you want to break up with her.
You can not make her respect you if she doesn't, but you can leave a person who does not respect you and find someone who will.
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