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She wants her space and freedom but still wants my money

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 October 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 October 2006)
A male , *airyTale writes:

ok now i really don't know what is going on...

Me and my gf (ex now...) broke up 2 months ago, she said she wanted some space and that she doesn't have feelings for me anymore.

I love her dearly, and treated her with all my love when we were together, gave her whatever she wanted and took her whereever she wants to go etc..

At the start when she broke up with me, she moved out and found an apartment ( she was living with me when we were together). She didn't have enough money for the bond, so i helped her pay half of the apartment, since i was trying to get her back and all...

Afterwards, every few weeks i would bring her stuff over to her, and she would always ask me for money to buy nesseseties eg. Bathroom things, blankets, cups pans... etc...

Because i loved her and really want this relationship again i helped her. Over time, this got more frequent to the point where i don't really know if she is just using me or .... i dunno or anything...

I decided to not contact her for a while, and that way i don't have to waste my money, i myself am not rich or annything, i actually needed to pay for my university fees which is overdued now...

After a month without contact, she called me up just before and i brought the last of her things over to her apartment, she again.... as i expected asked me for money. She said her friend lent her money so she can buy a computer, but she is leaving overseas and needed that money back, she is leaving in next week and needs $700. She asked me to lend her money ( whenever she says 'LEND' it actually means give... since she doesntt pay back...) Now, at the is point i want planning to pay my uni fees in a few days, i told her my $350 is gonna be foruni fees... She asked me if i can pay for it later, i told her it was late and everything. O and a few weeks back, she asked me for money to pay for her uni fee.... i told her the same thing last time saying can't she wait? but she said she wants to get it over and done with... blah blah blah...

I told her the same, but then she goes i really need to pay my friend back the 700... can u help me? i told her repeatedly i have to pay for my uni fees... Then she starts saying things like... " you said you would help me, you wanted to get back with me but u can't even do anything right, you can't even help me... blah blah blah..."

I have to admit... my mind is very weak, and i always give in to her because i love her so much... I told her give me time to gather money, i don't have 700 right now.

And i left.... and here i am now typing this very long situation hoping someone will help me out...

Ever since we broke up, she has been very different, very mean and cold to me... But i love her, and all the things we've done in the past cannot be forgotten.... i really don't know what to do.

I mean, people will tell me not to give her money and things... I know it myself... but i just can't say it to her.... I just don't want to lose her... She might be using me, might not be... i really do not know...

What do you guys think of this situation....

View related questions: broke up, money, moved out, university

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2006):

Hi, I know you think you love her but I think the reason that you want her so much is because she doesent want you be with you,also its natral to regret losing Ex's, she broke up with you,This aloofness and cold sholder is pulling you in more, because you miss her so much

But this is for her convenice what shes doing is mean, Its a game shes playing Im not saying shes doing this because shes a bad person, but she cant live without a man around her it sounds and your the Man thats sticking around at the moment so you got the role,

Maybe you should do her anymore favor's unless she treat's you nicer, and acts like shes not just taking you for a ride, you deserve respect so have respect for yourself, you deserve somone who will treat you great, and who will love you, and you will find her in the meantime take a break from your ex try I know its hard to take your focus of her, and if she gets in contact let her know your not going to take any rubbish from her, this is my opinion on this I hope it helps Take care Ditzy Blonde x

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A female reader, Jadzia1127 United States +, writes (28 October 2006):

Jadzia1127 agony aunt There is no romantic future for the two of you as long as she doesn't respect you. You know she is using you that is obvious. If she cared about you at all she would never think of taking your uni money. You're just an OPEN WALLET TO HER. A woman can't and will never respect a man that they can walk all over.

For your sake cut off the gravy train, and stop being her sugar daddy with no perks. Get your self respect back and maybe she will learn to respect you to.

Take the money and pay for your uni then tell her you don't have the money and you'll not have anymore money for her ever again. Then block her calls.

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