A
male
age
36-40,
*leveland78
writes:Im still in college and my fiance just broke up with me. What's worse is that I saw this coming 6 months ago, but it just kept getting worse and worse until now. We don't go to the same school, so I didn't see her everyday until the summer started so I didn't know how bad the situation was. I just spent about a week in the worst depression of my life. I have no appetite, and I literally think about her at least 95% percent of the time that I am awake. Just when I started telling myself that I need to go out with friends to try to not be in bed all day, she tells me that she doesn't want to be done forever, she just wants a year off to have fun in college so that she won't regret it when shes older. Its not about getting with other guys, its about having fun without having to think of me all the time. In my mind, this relationship is just going downhill from what she is telling me, but I love her so much that I cant be the one to make the break, yet I know that Ill spend all year thinking about her only to have it end like that? Im in so much pain. I feel betrayed by the most important person in my whole life. How do I spend a whole year like this?
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male
reader, cleveland78 +, writes (19 June 2007):
cleveland78 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI also thought that if she loved me she wouldn't do this to me and if she loved me she'd want to be with me and have fun with me but I'm trying to think of her point of view as well. Two years ago I told her I wanted a break to have fun, during this break I realized I loved her so much and I went back to being with her. If she asks for the same, and I just leave, not only do I think its not that fair, but I also couldn't live with myself if I ended this relationship. She is my one and only and I'll regret it for the rest of my life if I'm the one the puts the nail in the coffin.
A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (19 June 2007):
 I will have to second the previous poster on this one as they have hit the nail on the head.
The only thing i would suggest also is that you go and see your gp about the depression as it will not just go away on it's own and when you start getting treated for it it will make you a million times stronger again.
Take care.xx.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2007): I think you need to get real and think about the situation logicaly.
You said that she said its just about 'having fun without having to think of me all the time'
Surely if she really loves you she would want to spend time and have fun with you!
My boyfriend also has depression and i know what effect it can have. If you really love someone you can't help thinking about someone they just pop into your head. It shouldn't have to be a chore to have to think about you.
To be honest I think she's using you a bit. You need to take control and tell her that if she thinks she can just drop you and then pick up where she left off she should think again!
I know it may seem hard but you need to move on and get on with your life instead of being tied to this girl. You deserve someone you can love you as you love them and not treat you like dirt. I'm sure there's someone great out there for you but you might not find her if your hanging on to this other girl.
Good luck.
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