A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so me and my girlfriend had been in a relationship or 2 years... and then just a few days ago she just said, "i think i need some space... i was hurt badly for she was my very serious girlfriend... and then she messaged me that, "even though it hurts on my part to hear it she said that she's happy of the space but she still loves me back.. now am going crazy because i really love her and i dont know what to do... i'm wondering if its really over or do we still have a chance to reconcile everything?... please help me... it really hurts...
View related questions:
needs some space Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Agony Doctor  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Hi,
You haven't explained too much about this but from reading this short message i understand why you are hurt! Try to think about the reason that your girlfriend requires space?
Your are in your teens and i suspect that she is too, you say that she is your serious girlfriend of 2 years and i'm just wondering if this is your first relationship with a girl?
sometimes in relationships one partner or the other does tend to feel a little suffocated especially if it is their first serious relationship. they feel as though they need a little time to themselves and spend a little more time away from the relationship to see if the bond is really working and that hey still feel very much in love with the other.
i'm not saying that she doesn't love you, what i am saying is that she might love you but in a different manner than what you are expecting. All relationships are not a total 50/50, one partner will always love the other more than the other will love them.
some people are different in showing thier emotions in a relationship by the way they say thing to thier partner or by the way they look at thier partner. Other people tend to be very touchy feely and desire the same affection back but unfortunately never have the same affection applied to them as they give the other.
yuou say that you hope to reconcile everything? am i detecting that the relationship has completeley broken down due to some misfortunate event on either side or is the relationship just on a backward spiral? without going in to too much detail about it can you take a good hard look at your rlationship and see if there is anything that would indicate a wanting of space. sometimes people choose a space option and it helps them realise that they really do love and want to be with them, others take the space option and then realise that they have no need for a relationship and using the space option was a way of getting out of the relationship without too much hurt involved at the forefront.
i know you are hurting so much at the moment but everything might work out in the end if you both want it to, may be one wasn't paying enough attention to the other or showing enough love and respect for the other. the fact is that you are still young and so is the partner indicates that neither of you are really ready for a serious relationship at the moment due to underlying misconceptions of love. i do not mean that to be hurtful it is meant to be constructive and meaningful. There is a difference between love and infactuation in a relationship,
we all want a blissful relationship but in reality that never happens due to unforeseen events ot to events that are seen but blinding oneself over the fear of losing that special partner they most cherish.
listen dear friend i think you really do love her and need her in your life and i am just wondering if that is what she wants right now. maybe this space option will give you both the time to realise what you really want from this relationship and the test will be if you really want to be together, on a caution if the space is over lenghthened and you both are finding that the added freedom is a better way of life for the time being then the relationship will become stale, and will be harder to reconcile.
have a good lenghty talk to each other and find out from eachother what you both want from this relationship and what you don't want in the relationship. You will find that if you are prepared to really have a deep and meaningfull talk in a quiet neutural place then usually things can be sorted out one way or the other, but please do not rush things and make sure both of you listen deeply to what each of you have to say.
I really do hope you can have the relationship you so desire but i also want you both to be happy regardless of the outcome.
i hope i may have been a litlle help in trying to understand your feelings and i'll keep watching this space.
|
