A
male
age
30-35,
*eartofweakness
writes:My girlfriend and I had a fight today and it was because I saw the text between her ex and her. I noticed that she texts him the same way she texts me. She calls him honey and baby from time to time, and something it goes as calling him sexy, adorable, and cute. In general, they talk in a really sweet manner and it doesn’t make me feel good at all. She got really mad at me that I saw the text because she didn’t want me seeing them in the first place. When I brought it up, she said they were just jokes and told me I was just being ridiculous. I told her I don't like it because it really bugs me. She said that she loves me and they don’t mean anything when she says them to other people. The text I read had all of it; baby, honey, and they were really sweet. The last thing I read was “I love you. Goodnight” and it broke me. I asked her about it and she said that she loves him as a friend. The thing is, they are always texting like that, they texts all the time and she talks to him at the same time as me, she says good morning to him and says goodnight to him. I could understand that they are really close, but this doesn’t make me feel any good. She asked me to trust her, and I do, but if she says the same thing to us both, I really don’t know what she means and what she doesn’t. She called me an asshole because of the way I reacted being as upset as I was. And needless to say, it really hurt. I tried talking to her and she gave me the cold shoulder in the manner she was talking to me. And I told her that I miss her, and she said she’s doesn't want to be emotional right now and just be natural. She says she loves me. And I believe she really does.These fights make it really awkward for us to talk and see each other. I don’t want to break up or anything that would involve the lack of us two talking. She’s my first relation and me being the kind of guy I am, I’ve been called sweetheart and on more than one occasion, and by several people have been told to break off with her and let her go because I don’t deserve this and that’s not how someone should be treated in a relation. I’m sure you understand where the frustrations I have would come from. A relationship is a two way thing. If one is uncomfortable, then the other should try and help figure out how to solve the problem as opposed to brushing it under the carpet. I see her every day, and I love her. I really do. She's my first everything, I don't want her to be my first break up.
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male
reader, Problem.helper  +, writes (4 January 2011):
 As she is your first love and girlfriend its much harder to break up. But it sounds that you should. She obliviously has feelings for her exboyfriend. And I don't believe that " she loves him as a friend" . You are absolutely right about all points that u have made. If you are not happy about the relationship than you should break up with her eventho you are in love.
I don't know the whole situation but it really seems to me that she still got feelings for this guy and if he broke up with her she is just waiting for him to take her back.
I wouldn't do this to myself if I was you. Don't worry you will get over her and find a new girl for who you will be the only guy she says I love you to.
I speking for my personal experience . I was tuff decision to end it but it was also the right one.
Good luck to you
A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (4 January 2011):
It sounds like there are three of you in this relationship and my instinct tells me you should get out.
Remember this is my instinct based on what you've said, however, if you've got friends who know you that are telling you to break it off too, then we can't all be wrong.
Friends are there to look out for you and you would be wise to listen.
It's hard because you say it's your first relationship, but you will learn from this and it's only when you're out of the situation that you will realise it's the correct decision.
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A
female
reader, Mama Elly  +, writes (4 January 2011):
Heartofweakness,wat u really refer to as Ex- isn't wat it is.Ur girl may actually b keepin the two of you guys. The in-thing in every relationship is love, sincerity&faithfulness. If these ingredients are lacking in your own,dialogue.If there's no change after that,you may take a manly stand&take a bow. Afterall,u're still very young.
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