A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I have been going out with my girlfriend for a year and 9 months. We are both 20 and are in college. The relationship started great, we used to spend alot of time together, sex was offered/given/recieved a hefty amount, and we both lost our virginity around our 6 month anniversary. But for the past 5-6 months, things have been getting annoying. Sex barely ever happens, if at all. We have done it maybe 2 times in the past 6 months. 75% of the time I try to go out with her she has an excuse not to go out. She and I both have jobs, and she always says "im tired and i want to rest, so i dont want to go out today" She gets offended and annoyed whenever I come on to her, wanting sex or any type of affection. It takes me multiple tries to get her to even make out with me, because she just "sighs" and moans and pushes me away. If we arent already hanging out like at school or something, then she wont want to go out. For example, once she gets home, she doesnt want to leave and "go out of her way" to come visit me or to go out to dinner and such.We talk every night on the phone, and she tells me she loves me and I love her too, but lack of affection and sex is really getting to me. People have told me that she might have lost interest in me, or she is bored, or she just needs space, but I cant seem to understand how that happens, all of a sudden. I have approached her and asked her and she never gives me a straight responce its always something to the fact of "i just dont want to go out, ok?" or "I just dont want to have sex, ok?" Its really annoying and I dont know what to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): If the advice you have already received doesn't help matters, have the guts to end it. You are young and there are lots of fish in the sea (I know, cliche, but very true). If you both lost your virginity to each other, I would guess the both of you are a little curious as to what it's like with other people, and maybe you should split up and allow each other to explore. You're both too young to be committed anyway. Focus on school and having fun, don't let "blah" relationships ruin the best years of your life! ;)
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 October 2009):
There is something in her that is preventing her from opening up. So instead of pressing her for sex, try talking to her about why she feels this way. Is she depressed? Has she been used in the past and is not worried and hurt. Gently talk to her and find out what is preventing her from opening up.
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A
female
reader, Biteme202 +, writes (11 October 2009):
Well, I think you should, not be so worried about going out and sex.. She may feel used. Like she is just good for those to things.... You should try to go to her house watch a movie of her choice. And just hold her.... Don't try to touch her just have your arms around her... Tell her you love her. Kiss her on the head.... Some way to make her not feel used. Or just go on a walk and talk hold her hand... Open the car door for her. Tell her she looks pretty. Make her feel wanted in a good way.
I hope this helps you! ;)
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