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She tells me I am ridiculous for feeling this way and that she is walking on egg shells around me.

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 January 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 24 January 2011)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Im 29 years old and have been married for 2 years but have been with my wife for 6 years. We have two children, 4 and 2. Ive tried to talk to her about the lack of attention between us and she just makes all types of excuses why she doesnt. We are hard up on money right now which makes it hard but I find a relief in the worry by being near her and showing her affection. She doesnt. She has recently started working for a sex cam chat room and I am trying to be accepting of it cause we need the money but it is so much harder to accept while she doesnt ever try to hug me or kissme or iniciate sex ever. Most of the time she will have sex to appiese me. Ive been trying to talk to her about it and tell her that I want her to hug and kiss and iniciate sex with me or show me affection but it doesnt get any futher than that. She tells me she is trying by looking on the bright side of thing and pretending to be happy but I feel like this marrage is failing. She tells me I am rediculous for feeling this way and that she is walking on egg shells around me. I have no idea what I should be dooing.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Our kids have no knowledge of what their mother does, she puts them to bed then goes about her buisness in our room Until now she has always worked her butt off she worked as a waitress/busgirl for like 5 years and went to school. She dropped school after we had our son and when he was old enough went back to work and at some point even cleaned housees too. When that did not pull through she took on another regular job. We used to have relatives sit for us and now they r unable to do it so she had to quit work. She has attempted and still does try to find emplyent that will keep our kids out of daycare but its been monthes and no success. We are losing our home. So I guess she feels desparte. But I feel her new "employent move" is tearing us apart.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well Gamine im not whoring her out she chose this way to make money and we cannot find another way to make money. Plus she is cold and distant and she says thats haw she is so I dont know what to do about it . When we first got together she was overbearing but now she says im over bearing so i dont know how to resolve these problems between us. I hate the fact that she works as a cam slut. Im jeolus of that and parinoid that she might meet somone though the site and leave. We are finacially failing and the added stress of her work is making me have breakdowns almost every day.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tank you for your responses they are helpful. I would love to get a second job and am currently trying to. I hate the fact that she does webcam chats but there is no other way right now for us to generate more income. We talk about these problems almost daily and I feel as though we have a grip on the situation for the most part.

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A male reader, CJH United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2011):

CJH agony auntThere are two things you should be considering here, firstly what your wife is saying to you and secondly how you are feeling.

Its true that she may feel over pressured by you and that that in itself is causing some of the issues between you. The way to test that theory is to start treating her exactly as she is treating you. Wanting a hug isnt a crime and nor is wanting to make love to your wife, especially when everything else around you seems like a problem so please dont think I`m blaming you.

Marriages go off the boil for lots of different reasons and when times are hard with your finances and the everyday stress of raising a family, its all too easy to lose sight of the fact that your partner needs and deserves your attention.

I dont usually advocate playing games but in this case, giving the wife a taste of her own medicine may well remind her that shes supposed to be in a loving marriage.

The added benefit here is that you will be removing the pressure on her - you wont be questioning her and worrying yourself sick over whats going wrong.

Give it a go for a week or two if you can and come back and let us know the outcome.

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