A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with my girlfriend for 5 years. This morning I found out that she spent the evening with a bloke from work the night before then came home to me. She swears she didn't have sex with him and that they just talked. I don't know what to do. I'm not angry just upset and I feel like I can't tust her anymore. Any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007): Personally this has happened to me with a female co-worker and nothing happened or was intimated. We actually both needed to talk to someone outside of our own relationships even though we did not realise it at the time and we talked until 4.00am in the morning in a hotel room. We pecked each other on the cheek and thanked each other for an open chat that was impossible with anyone else. Nothing else ever crossed our minds and we are now very firm friends that can talk about anything to each other with no strings.
A
female
reader, sinders +, writes (30 November 2007):
Have you sat down and talked to her about how you feel and your feelings? I mean in a civil conversation and not a shouting match! Have you asked her why she did this? If she had phoned and explained what was happening would it made a difference? Maybe this guy needed another point of view, just like you do now. As for the trust, if you know all about what happened will it make a difference? If not, does she realise she has put your relationship in jepardy and why?
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A
male
reader, JohnR  +, writes (30 November 2007):
 Tough call. It is usually not proper for a girlfriend or wife to spend the night with another guy, but what was the circumstances? My wife doesn't drink (maybe 1 umbrella drink at the most), but if she did go out with co-workers and drank too much, I would much rather she spent the night at a co-workers house, yes, even male, than drive home. Was this the case, or maybe she really did need to talk to someone about stuff. As long as they didn't sleep in the same room/bed, I see no problem with it. The biggest question here, is do you trust her? If you don't completely trust her, then this will destroy your relationship, and you need to move on, if you do trust her, then just ask why she needed to talk to him, and make sure it was seperate sleeping arrangements, then just move on. I'm sure that if she is trustworthy, then it is no more than what she said. Just spent time with a co-worker who happened to be a guy. Good Luck, hope this helps a little.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): to tell you the truth, women dont generally stay round another man's place due to the fact that it would make you question her intentions. It completely depends on what kind of person she is and if she has been trustworthy for as long as you have known her. however, life's so short, theres no point worrying too much over things like this.
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