A
male
age
30-35,
*obro
writes:Posted the first part before, at here, under the title - "I don't want to interfere if he makes her happy, but I don't know how much longer he will keep it up.":http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-dont-want-to-interfere-if-he-makes.htmlNow. What to do? Should she know how I feel?She is in a relationship with this prick. I don't want to interfere if he makes her happy but I don't know how much longer he will keep it up.Am I just feeling confused?Some people have suggested that I don't dismiss the possibility of her and I being a relationship one day. I'm not sure what to think.I am starting university 20th September.==========Since I last posted:We have been out for lunch again twice. Went well on the whole. She gave me a very small gift last time I saw her (Monday). It had no money value at all. But it was very very sweet (plastic ribbons that she'd shaped into small flowers). We were going to be seeing each other again Friday. I got a very apologetic email a couple of hours ago saying she couldn't make it but suggested we do something next week. First time we met since I last posted a couple of things happened. Bumped into her boyfriend. I was a bit disappointed. But not too bothered. What was interesting was the way she was with him. There was no embrace, kiss, anything. They didn't even talk much. Later in the day, we bumped into one of our other friends. We were discussing her boyfriend, not in an overly positive light. At one point I said "He doesn't seem to care about anything". Her reaction was "Well that's (his name)...". She said it quietly, and I'm not sure how seriously she meant it. But the fact that she said it was intriguing. Anyway each time we meet has been fantastic. She is seeing more of me than her BF. We have talked a little more about personal stuff (not about ourselves directly but family etc). It's not easy to make arrangements as she can't always make it and I don't know when I'm working...I can tell she really likes me and I feel at times we have a connection. I just am not sure if she likes me as more than a friend.Thoughts would be appreciated.Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): how long has she liked you?
if its like 8 months then she prob won't break up with him, and she just needs a f riend...but if its like a month or two. . . . then you def. have a shot
xoxo
A
male
reader, dobro +, writes (30 July 2008):
dobro is verified as being by the original poster of the question ChiRaven: that's generally how I feel about it at the moment. To be honest, at this minute my feelings are a bit confused when it comes to how I feel about her. Of course I accept whatever she wants. I wouldn't be a good friend otherwise. The path you suggest is pretty much how I'm taking things.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (30 July 2008):
 There's an old song that covers this situation. It's called "Silence is Golden". Even if you knew the guy was no good for her, that's something she is going to have to find out for herself. And until she does, the best you can do is simply support her and remain a comforting presence in her life without making any overt moves to interfere. It's her choice. You'll just have to accept it.
Be sure she knows that you're there for her. You can put that in such a way that the exact ROLE you would play is ambiguous enough ... friend or more than friend ... without coming right out and saying that you're interested. That's something that you should keep to yourself until/unless she makes a move to dump him or move positively toward you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): this is tough. no doubt. well 1st off don't get involved with a person in a relationship. it's bad for both of you.now if she truly likes you. she will get him out of the picture. how long have you thought she likes youkeep me postedxoxo
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