A
male
age
51-59,
*orricuapapy69
writes:ok so heres my problem, i met a girl last year around octoberish...we talked online and telephone for about a month until we met in person.she`s in the middle of a divorce at the moment and has been seperated for 2 yrs...so since then we dated...the first night we dated i stayed over her house...no sex was involved but we did the making out and etc...after about 2 months of dating the holidays came and she was spending the time with her family as i was doin also myself...after the holidays we kinda didnt see each other due to conflicting schedules.in mid febuary i left to visit my mother and stayed about 6 weeks...thru all that time we still kept in touch...saying how we missed each other and as soon as i returned we would be tryin to spend more time together,,,i came back and we went out talked...had a good time...now in may her son finished school and was comming home for the summer...which is cool..understandable...she was busy most of the time but we still kept in touch...on wensday the 15th we where talking online and it kinda slipped that i was in love with her... she was surprised cause she never knew i felt like that ...so that was the last time i talked to her...thursday the next day i gotta call from my father tellin me my grandmother passed away and the first person i thought of to contact was her being we were close and all..left a messsage sayin what happend..but to my surprise i didnt get a call back nor message....i had roses sent to her mothers house to get there friday afternoon for her since i didnt remember her apt # and i knew her mom was always home and she lives like 5 minutes away from her..but the order was put in 4 days in advance..so i wrote her an email stating that when i told her i was in love with her i wasnt expecting her to say she loved me too and i wasnt expectin her to marry me but not to ignore me since it hurts more when i dont know what shes thinking...okso later that day she text me with this message...""i`m sorry to hear about you grandmother!!i`m sorry for answering you sooner but i was truly in shock.. honestly think its to soon for me to fall in love again...i`m not even divorced yet..please dont get mad at me, i still want us to talk.""****side note= "talking" in nyc means dating****i responded ..i`m so glad you responded you dont know how much it means to me hearing you say that...she responded..your welcome sweety!!that was thursday......friday she text me sayin she got the flowers and that they where beautiful...i text asking if the card was came with it..she said yes it was beautiful thank you sooo much!!this is what it said....I SEND YOU THIS TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS FOR YOU ...I KNOW YOU LIKE FLOWERS HOPE YOU LOVE THESE ROSES, EVEN THOUGH THEY DONT MATCH UP TO YOUR BEAUTY. YOU ARE SPECIAL TO ME DONT EVER FORGET IT.. LOVE D@#@##sunday i called her and nothing...i text her saying i need you for 5 minutes ma...she responded..i`m out with the kids..you ok?..i said..yea i just needed to vent..sorry for botherin you..she says..i`ll give you a call later,,,i was like ok..sorryshe..no problem..she never called...i called later that evening left a message saying i was waiting for her call and you didnt call...anyways i wanna see if you wanna get something to eat tomorow afternoon..spend a lil time together..didnt get any response from her at all...so i go online to this site that we both visit...it said she was online...so i sent a message sayin..hey..you online?no response....few hours passed and it still said she was online..i thought maybe she left her comp on and logged onto the site..so i sent a message saying..hey..next time dont forget to turn your computer off dum dum...lola minute passes and it logs off!!i was like damn...wtf?it was eating me up inside wondering why is she doing this..i was up all night..i started to write this email...hey hope all is good . i had to get this off my chest... i know my recent actions have been annoying and i do apologize for that. its just i come to think about whats been said and i know its affected our relationship and it pains me that its gone this way. i look back and remember when you said you liked hearing nice things from me like when i told you que yo te quieria and i felt good knowing that you liked it. thats why i dont understand why you freaked out when i told you i was in love with you..maybe somethings are not to be said and just let that person feel what emotion you have.... i guess what i really wanted to say that day was that i wanted for us to be exclusive because i remember telling you once that if i was with a person it was just with that person ..no one else...and till this day i`ve kept my word on that... this was one of things i wanted to talk about when i returned from kansas ..i dont think you rememberd the convo we was having but i had told you that we needed to talk when i returned...and you was like yea we need to spend more time together...but apparently it all went south..do you know that you are the first female that i dated that i wasnt thinking about just having sex with you all the time ....but i wanted to be able to spend time together with you;;;??,,, but damn you kiss good,,,one of the things i miss lolas you can see its 330 am..right now ..i cant sleep thinking about this.i know its crazy but to think that its almost been a year since we met..did you notice that? lol...i did because lil things like that are important to me and i like to keep in mind cause there special... i guess my point is that i remember you told me that there was this guy from jersey that didnt get the hint and i dont wanna be that guy, you know? with you i try and will always be as honest as possible because thats how i am and would like to be givin that same honesty....so tell me are we still good?... are we still talking like we use to? i just want things to be back to normal like when you use to pick my calls when i called and even wrote me back when i messaged you..you know the good old days..lol..this is not a threat or a demand, i guess its more like a wish..corny i know..you thinking,,,this aint the david i know ..right?lol but it is me..trying to salvage what we had/have. so i was sayin in the beginning that i have been a bit annoying but thats gonna end and i am sorry for acting like a dumb high school kid in love but my feelings took over me and now i gotta control them. so i will hope to hear from you and get things back on track if its still possible... and i am not mad at you so dont you think that..ok!!!...just tell me where we stand ma...i want us to be like it was...what do you say mamita.....can we?...last attempt to contact her was that...sundaystill havent heard anything from her...i need some outside opinions...
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divorce, flowers, grandmother, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): Dude you should have not responded.. but now wait a little bit more till she txt's or calls you again. See the reason you should have not responded is because she knows you are always there.. and thats something you dont want to give her just yet..
Dont contact her, let her contact you, she is obviously thinking about you but give it some time, in the mean time keep yourself occupied.
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male
reader, borricuapapy69 +, writes (27 July 2009):
borricuapapy69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell surprised as i was i got a text from her asking how was the funeral and if i was ok...i didnt wanna respond but the nice in me had to do it lol..
she said her ex is still bein a pain and that everyrthing was ok.. so that was it for now..no mention of what happend or what was said..
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reader, borricuapapy69 +, writes (27 July 2009):
borricuapapy69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok so a weeks gone by and nada...not even a hi or anything..i`m wanting so much to call her its nuts...you guys think i should say anything or just wait a lil more?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): Trust me man she would not have blown itt off, women are strange like that, they tend to go silent or distant because they are unsure of themselfs, rather than the person they love/like. So keep doing what you are doing and just hold yourself back.. it will all get better.. just give it time. For now concentrate on going to the gym/playin video games/ going to the pub/bar anything to get your mind of it while u wait. Im sure she will be with you eventualy just let her get through this patch.. trust me i just went through your situation, it will work out! THINK POSITIVE AND DONT DWELL ON THE NEGATIVE.
goodluck man
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reader, borricuapapy69 +, writes (22 July 2009):
borricuapapy69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyea i know i have to give her space but damn its so hard..i wanna just call or even go to her house and see her..but i`m not..i`m holding myself back lol
just wondering if she thinking about what i said or if she just blew it off...its killing me!! lol
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): dude!!! slow it down man, ok one peice of advice i am going to give you.. and that is.. TO NOT TALK TO HER OR CONTACT HER IN ANYWAY, AS HARD AS THAT WILL BE! You need to give this woman alot of space, and by spillin your heart out to soon it will just scare her away and make her more confused. How do i know this? because i just went through your exact situation. I know its hard, never knowing the feelings of the woman you are in love with.. if she really loves you back. But for now you have to not say anything to her at all. Give it a week or to. if she calls you, dont answer, if she txt's, dont reply. This will probably be the hardest thing u have to do but you have to make her realize what she wants and is mnissing. She obviously likes you but she is going through a tough time with the divorce and for women this can become stresful and confusing. So take my advice and go No contact for a while.. let her come to you dude..
take care and goodluck
JJ
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