| A ,
anonymous
writes: i have been going out with this girl since valentine's day, and we have been really happy, and before we went out, we were the best of friends, and we were extremely close. But she has said things are going too fast for her, which i completely understand, because she has gone through alot of stuff with previous boyfriends. Although i understand her, i don't know how to go about making her happy, like what things i should do to keep things easy for her. I know that some things are going fast, because it all seems to be happening too quickly, but i don't want that to have to put everything back. I'm assuming she just needs time to adjust to going out with me instead of being my best friend... I just want to make her happy, that's all
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007): heyy that is happinen to me right now with a guy well u see i have a simaler problem we were best friends for a year and everything i was a tottall tomboy i mean u would never suspect me of all people to have a skirt but over the summer i changed i became interested in all that girly stuff makeup looking skinny pretty and stuff and now i am a cheerleader so i became his type and i liked him i just became interested i just relized he was the kind of guy i wanted but anywayy it is wayy difficult to get use to the changes we want everything the same but we want them a little diffrent u see we want to b loved by u but not 2 much dont try and go to far like a normal girl u have to still kinda treat her like ur bff and slowley ease into the boyfriend girlfriend mode and when she thinks it feels more natural she will let u go further it takes time trust me just have patience it will all work out in the end
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): I'm familiar with this problem, and I know the mumbo jumbo about "respecting her space" and "her comfort" and "bad experiences in the past", but my psychological interpretation of this is that it's a psychological and educational vice that just doesn't make sense. It's just stupid! I'm sorry. Girls who think this way, apparently a huge percentage of them, have wrong notions about how society works and how they work themselves, and they don't see how they are pathetic at it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (22 February 2005):
 You need to take her cues as a gauge of whether you're moving too fast for her comfort.Let her take the initiative for a little while, just until you both understand what she needs. By that I mean, don't be too demonstrative with your affections - holding hands, kissing in public etc - unless she starts it.She may be feeling that her personal space is a bit crowded by you, too, particularly if she's had some bad experiences in the past, so give her some room. Don't be with her all the time, unless she asks you to.Lastly, withhold pledges of everlasting love and plans for your old age together, if you haven't already. It's hard to know exactly what she's feeling, but I'm guessing that she's still adjusting from "friend" to "girlfriend" and might need a bit more time.These are just short-term suggestions, until you begin to get a feel for what she needs to be comfortable.Good luck.
...............................
|
