A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:so where to begin. my wife and i have been together for 5 years married 10 years together. we have 2 children together. we have struggled for years. it all started we had our first child when we were young she was 18 and blames me for taking away her teenage years for partying. she has been a stay at home mom for the whole time. i can admit i have done things wrong in our marriage and i dont hide it from her. in the beginning i didnt know what to do. i still wanted to be with friends and have space but that was while we were dating and for the first bit of our marriage. i have seen for years her depression has always kept here down. never really pushed her to do anything. i pushed for years for her to go out and hang out with friends or to get a job to get out of the house and be with other people. to help outside the house but she only gets upset when i say that and she thinks its all about the money. i will repeat i did do stupid things. i did go see strippers one time for a friends birthday and i know that was wrong. so this is not in anyway to put her down. so i started growing distant from here cause i felt like everything i would say would just be ignored. so i distancted myself from her. i just found other things to do. she asked me to come and talk and hang out but i really didnt feel like it. she turned to the internet. some random guy started talking with her and within a short amount of time she fell inlove with him. i will say god opened my eyes one night and really showed me alot of the wrongs i was doing and i have been a changed man since. i confronted her about what was wrong and she told me about her online guy that she has been trying to meet and be with. she opened up and told me how she had cheated on me twice with one of my friends and her old crush. i accepted those and moved past that. she has accpected to stop talking to her online guy to try and give us one last chance but she says there is no love for me. she has fallen out of love with me and she doesnt know where to find it again. we have been to councellers and to our church and they all tell here the same things but she doesnt listen or try anything they say. i have done the love dare twice now and every day i turn to it for an up lifting moment in my day. i have also ready the 5 love languages and found them both to be very helpful. she doesnt touch me. doesnt kiss me or hug me or even want to spend time with me. i have been trying to do everything i can to please her. there is no sex. the only time we have had sex recently she cries during cause she says there are no feelings there. i dont want to lose my wife. i do love her and i do want to stay with her forever. i miss her. spending time with her, dates with her, i have started cooking and cleaning way more then i used too. i love it, i know it helps her and by helping her and doing things for her that is what is making me happy inside and i love it. i dont want to give her or the kids up. it has now been 3 months since this all really got rocky and i know it wont get any easier unless she really tries to make things work but shes not really trying.
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female
reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?]  +, writes (24 November 2012):
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png) Maybe it's time to just move on and go forward with your life... I know it's hard right now but it will only get worse if you keep thinking she'll do something but yet, she doesn't. Please don't depend on someone for your happiness, you do things that make YOU happy, clean and go out for YOU. Not for her or for anyone else. She cheated on you? And then fell in love with a man online? Maybe she was hurt but that's still not an excuse, if she has such a problem with your marriage then she should tell you that instead of hiding everything and doing more damage behind your back. You're the one getting hurt, and to be honest, you are a much better person. This is a situation that will take a lot of strength, it won't be easy.. But listen to this quote: "Good things fall apart so better things can fall together" and that was said by Marilyn Monroe. So, please think a bit, about what matters and if you're going to be unhappy and not feel loved then please don't waste anymore time trying to save your marriage because if you think the way she treats you is love then I don't know what love is.
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