A
male
age
30-35,
*ostNlife
writes:Ahh were too start.. there is alot to say.. Well im about to be turning 21 and she is 27 and I have been with my wife for 3 years (only married for about 6 months). We also have a child together who is almost 2 years old. Like all couples we have had our ups and downs but not till recently it got bad..Recently she joined the military and she rushed me to amrry her so we could keep our family closer together.. Dont get me wrong I am madly in love with her, but would have rather waited to get married so we could have an actual wedding not jsut run down to the court house... but I did it anyways because I knew it would make her happy.. Anyways after we had our child we werent intimate for a couple months but eventually got into the rytheme of things.. now again for about the past 5 months its been the same.. she says she has lost all sexual desire and quote " no longer loves me" as a friend is how she says she sees me now...Most of our problems revolved around communcation.. whenever I wanted to talk about something she would always say "later later" but later would never come.. so I would try to sit her down and thats when she gets furious... she has hit me on several occasions even... and it really hurts, but regardless I still love her... She always said " I will never leave you and If anything I will be the one to leave her because im younger".. yet I always promised I never would as i am dedicated to her..The biggest kicker is this... Recently she got stationed to california for training.. she was there about a month and told me she wanted me and our son to move there so we could be together and try to get things normal again... I agreed.. so last month i drove acrooss country with our child.. we rented an apartment, but i soon noticed she was avoiding coming there.. she said she would be able to stay 5 nights a week and would only come 2 maybe 3.. She still didnt wanna be intimate and was making up lies not to come home( i know because i got her to admit to it)... I never pressured her to be intimate but would sometime try because how else can we fix without trying? and everytime i/we tried nothing happened.. so finally after being there ONLY 2 weeks thats when she broke the news.. she said she only loved and saw me as a friend and wanted to get a divorce.. I am truly heartbroken and at a loss of words... One day she says she loves me and wants to make it work... the next day she literally gives up and says shes done trying.. so after quiting my job leaving school and moving everything im back in florida less than a month later with my son...now it been about 2 weeks ive been back... she text me everyday and talks as if nothing happened and like we always used to except for theres no i love you or calling each other names like babe, sweety, etc...I have asked her several times if she considers getting back together or even trying maybe not now.. but even in the months down the road... she always gets mad and says no im throu im throu im tired of trying to make this work!!! but ill ask her why she cant even try for our family?.. and shell say "well maybe if you would just let things cool down we will see"... so pretty much shes telling me 2 things... no she doesnt wanna make it work... and then that maybe she does... all within a matter of minutes..also whenever I try to talk to her about "us" she freaks out like usuall and tells me stop talking to her, dont text me, i dont wanna see you again, etc... but everyday like clock-work she texts me...im soo confused none of her actions make sense and i love this woman and cant imagine life without her.. she has broken up with me b4 but usually only for a day or two at a time... this time is pretty bad considering i had to move back from cali and was only there a month and she didnt even want me to stay and try..I kno her new job puts alot of stress on her but is that any reason to give up on your family??? also she swears on her life shes not seeing some1 else and i believe her cause i really dont think she would do that... and i think she would tell me if that was the reason...soo can anybody help to explain her actions?? all she will say is i dont love you anymore... thats ALL i can get out of her... i would do anything to have her back but i cant tell if im doomed or if there is hope?? everything she does is soo confusing and seems to contradict her words and actions... help please : (
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