A
male
age
,
*OUM1983
writes:I have been dating my current girlfriend for 4 months! Mostly terrific except one thing. She has a male personal trainer/ friend she has known for 15 years. They seem to communicate frequently but never in front of me. She has other male friends and her relationship with them doesnt seem to bother me. this friend lives 1 hour from her and yet he wants to train her for FREE, offers to help her with personal issues etc. I have spoken with her a couple times about being uncomfortable with this arrangement. Her answer is "that she would never be interested in him as a friend only". I notice messages on her phone with him calling her "Sunshine" and meeting her etc. I really dont want to throw away the baby with the bath water , but I think I have reached my limit here. This has all the potential to get into muddy waters at his end. I could be wrong but I doubt it. Otherwise why is he pushing her and why is she not seeing the problem that could be coming.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): "Her answer is "that she would never be interested in him as a friend only""
You have your answer. She is something other than only a friend with this guy and that isn't going to change.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (6 March 2013):
Do you trust your girlfriend? You're not in a relationship with him so you don't need to trust him.
I also second what llifton said.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (6 March 2013):
 i would honestly say that if she's been friends with this guy for 15 years and they've never done anything, you're probably in the clear.
however, i can see where you're comming from on this. it's never a good feeling wondering if someone likes your girlfriend. but honestly, think about it this way: if they've been friends for that long, OF COURSE he's gonna offer her training for free. that's what friends do. and i call my good friends names like sunshine, etc. also, think about a friend you've had for a long time. imagine if she suddenly started getting bothered by you two being friends. would you just drop him for her? i would hope not.
i wouldn't worry too much over this. i think the more you get on her case about this, the more trouble it will cause. just try and relax and give her some trust. good luck.
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