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male
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anonymous
writes: me and my g/f of three years broke it off about a week ago b/c we were at the point of getting engaged and she really freaked out and said she was confused, stressed, ect and needed a break..we have been talking on and off for about a week..the conversations always go back to the relationship though and i feel like we are just tearing each other apart..i want to work on our differences, but she says she needs time and it's too soon for her to see me, go to dinner, valentines day, ect..so i told her last night i cannot talk to her like this anymore..i can't pretend to talk about bullshit on the phone, ect..i told her that i don't want to talk under these conditions anymore b/c it's hurting both of us..she cried and said she loves me, she knows in a she wants to be with me and she knows it will all work, but she needs time..she said she didn't want to say goodbye and i told her the day she realizes that i am that man for her to call me and say that i love you and i want to be with you..she cried and said she needs me in her life, she loves me, she cares about me, but she understands this it is not fair to me to wait around..i told her that there is always the possibilty we would meet other people, ect..and she said she doesn't want that at all, but she has to take that chance right now..she says that she believes people can be apart and come back together stronger and be together forever..i believe that time and distance, not talking, or seeing each other will cause us to really grow apart and eventually nothing will happen..what the hell do i do?? this girl is the love of my life
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2006): but why does she say she wants it to work , she does love me, and she knows everything will work out?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2006): man that hurts to hear=(
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A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (13 February 2006):
 To love and to have lost is better than to have never loved at all, well that is true in this situation as you have loved and now it is over, let it be just that.
Enjoy the good memories but dont keep this thing going as it really has run its course and there is no point in believing anything else.
You are hurting and so is she, yes a break seemes like a good idea on the surface of it and yes people do get back together but you were just about to make the biggest commitment ever, you were not just in the first flush of romance, you had been in this relationship for three years, she felt it was wrong to marry and that was her gut instinct, you need to realise that clinging on is just not fair to both of you, you say it yourself you are tearing each other apart, you have not been apart long so it is all still raw, the healing has not yet begun.
If you are meant to be together then nothing will keep you apart, but yes it may mean you have a long break and in that time you may start new relationships, what will be will be.
You gave her an ulimatium and she has not responded, she has not rang you and told you that are the man for her, she probably in her heart knows you are not the bloke she wants to spend the rest of her life with.
Give yourself at least 6 months apart from her and if in that time you have both not moved on then meet up again and see if anything has changed, but my suspicions are that this is going nowhere.
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