A
female
age
41-50,
*alonso
writes:She says she needs time to figured out wether she can leave the past behind or not. Should I keep waiting or should I let go and move on? Eight years ago I had a girlfriend who I cheated on with my exboyfriend and got pregnant. When we broke up I met my current exgirlfriend who I cheated with both of my exe's and she always takes me back. The only difference is that 3 yrs ago I asked her for time because she was on me all the time and I had issues trying to figure out who I was and stop with my drinking problem. She wasn't being very helpful because she had a lot to do with it. We've been living with my parents since than. When I asked her for a space I wasn't planning to sleep with my daughter's father, nor get pregnant but it happened. When I found out I was one month pregnant I told her what happened and she took me back but she never forgave me because I never gave her the respect she deserved. Well that's what she says but I know I did my best and I took responsibilities for my mistakes. She wasn't perfect neither very understanding in a lot of ways. She was not ok with my babies dad being in the picture so I pushed him away and I wouldn't let him see the babies. A year ago I started changing so much. I stopped drinking and setting up my priorities, but the more I would show her that I love her the more she would reject me and make me feel neglected. She starded going out and coming home late and drunk where I would stay home sober waiting for her with the babies. Seven months ago she said that she wasn't going to hold back and she wasn't going to hold her life again for me. That she did it for five years and she didn't get anything out of it but pain and that she needed time and also get her own place because I had my own once and she needed to show something that she's been working so hard for. She said that not living together was going to help us gain our trust and love back. Because we were fighting too much. I told her that if she leaves she was going to lose me because I thought she didnt love me or that she was cheating because or her lies and her coming home late and the way that she would make me feel neglected. She says that she's not interested in seen anybody else that what's the point when she's trying to find herself and see if she can leave the past behind and continue with me. She says she loves me but it hurts the fact that she can't open up to me. That she's afraid of giving herself to me again and now that she asked me for a break that if she realize that she can be with me I may not be here so edge ends up losing either way. That I'm the way she always wanted me to be but she can't open up right now. I told her to take her time and let me move on but she still lives here. She was helping her mom taking care of her cousins and she's coming back home but since I haven't been working for awhile. She feels force to be here because she says she cares. As soon as I get a job she will move out but she still going to help me with anything I need and wants to keep seen the babies specially my son bcs that have nothing to do with us. Now its being almost a month and she keeps looking for me. I'm very confused because I know I love her and I don't know what she wants. She keeps giving me hope. I'm tired of waiting and I don't know what to believe. She says she needs time but yet wants me in her life. How can you be friends with someone when u need time? I don't reject her every time she comes around bcs Im trying to be patience with her but I don't know what game she's playing. Is she trying to keep her options open? She says that het thing right now it has nothing to do with somebody else is just going out, drinking and trying to find herself. I don't know what to do. Pls help.
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female
reader, malonso +, writes (21 November 2011):
malonso is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes she saw me gave birth to my son. She supposed to come back home this weekened. She was helping her mom with her nephews and now there's no need for her to still be there. I told her yesterday I wanted to talk to her n she said that today we will talk. And she hasn't called. I don't know if I should ask her when shed coming back home or what. I'm just gonna let her be. It's obvious she doesn't wanna be here.I'm gonna let her do the talking and ill take it from there I asked her if she's talking to somebody else and she said no. I told het that my heart feels that she is and she said that I feel that way bcs shes not around me. I don't know what to do.
A
female
reader, malonso +, writes (19 November 2011):
malonso is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your help. My daughter was 1yr old when I met her. I know I love her and I am cleaning up my mess but some how she was making me pay for what I did. She says that it would be a mess up if I don't let her see my son after she moves out. She was there through the pregnancy and saw me give birth. That this the best thing that has ever happened to her. I guess I really need to talk to her otherwise she will continue hurting me. It's hard to deal with all this mix emotions when we still live in the same place. I know all this its very unhealthy for both. I wish she was clear with me and let mmove on if there's nothing holding us together but she keeps giving me hopes one way or other. Thank you for your comment!
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