A
male
age
36-40,
*ki
writes:hi allcan anyone help me clear my head on what has happened to me in the last week, my girlfriend has txt me saying that we need a break, she is all confussed and her reasons for having the break are these, she wants to have her young life as she feels like she has missed out as i met her when she was 17, i have been with her 3 and a half years, she tells me she loves me and knows no one will love her more but she needs to be free, she has also stated that shes not wanting to see other people, has anyone been in this situation themselves, if so help me plz
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2007): A half hour ago my girlfriend told me that she didn't love me.. well, I knew that, and she knew that I knew that. She's mind f'in me. If she knows that I want her more than she wants me, well.. she has the advantage. The over hand. She is in control, and that is what she wants. I left her laying in front of a fire on a blanket.. smiling at me as I go out the door.. "are we still on for coffee?" she says. Oh yeah. I went to the store to get milk and sat at my desk.. the phone rings. And rings. Rings 6 times and the message machine picks up. "Nighty night! Thanks for the back rub.." so now I am reduced to playing the f'in game. I don't answer the phone, I become aloof. All this because she wants to test the boundaries. Okay, fine. Test em. Let me know when you're done. I have already done everything wrong in my relationship. I exposed my feelings up front. It was wrong in retrospect, because it puts a lot of pressure on the other person. She liked me before because I avoided her, would not accept invitations and was stand-offish. Relationships are a constant balancing act.. you have to decide if the juice is worth the squeeze. My little lemmon is worth it. What a pain in the ass.
A
male
reader, oki +, writes (17 April 2007):
oki is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i dont think we will get back together, i have excepted that now, still waiting on confirmatin that she will meet me, and over the last 24hrs i have realized that although a friend ship mite be possible it will only last untill we both find someone else as i dont think any of oour new partners will be to pleased we still see each other, my head will be clear after 23 april wen i meet up with her, at the mo im playin mind games with her and not txting her, although its hard i want her to be thinkin about me and wundering wot im doing and stuff, if she makes the first text to me it is a good sign that she is thinking of me. will of course keep u posted
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A
female
reader, Sazza13 +, writes (16 April 2007):
hi, i didnt realise this was happening to so many of us! but has anyone ever got back with there ex partner, if so please let us know because im sure it will clear a few things up.
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A
male
reader, oki +, writes (16 April 2007):
oki is verified as being by the original poster of the questionin responce to all, thankyou for taking the time to write back, i have decided to give her a week to really think about everything, not expecting anything to come of it at the end tho and have decided to except the fact that she is no longer "that person" in my life. However we are hopefully meeting up a week on monday for a drink, thats if she dosnt change her mind that is, at least when this day comes i will know where i stand in this whole thing so i cant wait for monday 23 may, whether it be hopefull news or bad news, 23 may is judgement day, i will let you all know how it goes
one question though, she is all heartbroken at this whole thing as well like she was shocked as much as me, wot does that mean? it is very hard to except this whole thing knowing she did not want to brake up either, but what she wanted was freedom, will she ever realize that a mix of both, a relationship and freedom is a healthy relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2007): yeah my boyfriend just done this to me all i can do is gve him some space to clear his head i know its hard to do my mind is all over the place what if this happends and that but i have to remember we are on a break so. You should just give her a week space then ring her or text her saying yes you have missed out on alot but so have I but i also have some thing important to me that i don't what any one else to have and thats you just because we are together doesn't mean i wont support you in any thing you what to do try that
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A
female
reader, pollyanna  +, writes (16 April 2007):
 It's good to have a break. But eventually during that break you both are going to meet other people... and that's ok!! It's going to do one of two things for you...either a: give you a new option or b: make you appreciate the other more. Live your life. You don't have a choice on this one, buddy. Just relax, flow with it and allow fate bring people to you. You will be ok. Just doesn't feel like it right NOW. Don't try to analyze it too much... just let it happen. Let the good come to you... and it will.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2007): I've done the same thing. I really love my boyfriend but somethime I just need "girl-time" and not worring about cheating or my bf calling me every five minutes. Don't worry about it unless you do have a feeling she is with someone else. Talk to her and REALLY see why she's acting this way. Hope I helped!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2007): I know you are confused and disappointed. The fact is that your girlfriend was only 17 when she met you and even though you mean a great deal to her and she doesn't want to date anyone else, she has in fact missed out on other experiences she might want to have.
Its hard to think of specifics at this hour of the evening (11:00 p.m.) but for instance: suppose she wanted to take some time to travel abroad for six months, or work in another city or state? While you were both an "item" she might feel unfree to travel.
Seventeen is in any case, very young to be "tied down" to one person for three years......no reflection on you, but people are bound to go through a lot of thinking and growing as part of becoming a mature adult.
Hard as it is, if you love her, you will let her be free with your "blessing." You will also be free to date others, if you so choose. Possibly in time she will want to take up with you again - but one never knows.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2007): Yep, oki. Been there, heard that, got the T-shirt. Only mine was, "I just have too strong feelings for you and I am frightened by them. I just need to be by myself and think for a while." Well, she thought for a while (I guess). Next time I saw her, she was with another guy. I wondered if he knew she had a "strong feeling phobia" (?) I decided not to tell him. Before I "metriculated out" to bigger and better things, I saw her with a few more guys. I will always remember her with fondness. She had the greatest dump line I have ever heard since. (wink)
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