A
male
age
41-50,
*rtLove19
writes:I've been in a relationship for almost a year now and everything was going really great. We don't have major differences. We are on the same page on a lot of issues of life and friends. She did ask for space almost a month ago. I've been reading a lot of articles and yes!! it is really tough for I love her dearly and has reassured me that she loves me...just needs space. Of course I'm frightened but my question is not so much of what to do. My question is...is there a lot of people out there that have had successful relationships after her wanting a lot of space? If so...out of curiosity...how long before you started seeing each other again?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2007): Hey,
I hope this helps because I am a girl that asked for a break from a relationship with my boyfriend. In my situation, we moved in too soon (after 2 months of dating), and I started getting annoyed by him, and it ended up that we were arguing too much about stupid little things, but he is still very much in love with me and did not want a break, although he could see that it was still maybe needed. So, we are now living seperately, and I told him to give me a week for me to reorganize myself and make sure we can both make the relationship work again by taking it more slowly. I still talk to him everyday for now (its been only a few days) because I love him so much and miss him already.
Women who still love their boyfriends and still want a relationship with them may need a break to see how they can make the relationship better, more like what they truly want, so they can go ahead and be comfortable making it long-term.
Sometimes, when you concentrate too much on one person, you need to step out and see beyond that, and make the necessary changes so that it wont happen again.
Hope this side of the story helps, I know its not like this for every girl that wants a break, but there is still hope!
A
male
reader, ArtLove19 +, writes (23 March 2007):
ArtLove19 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for those who responded. My trusted and close friends have told me that they feel in the pit of their heart that her and I will be fine. I would like to add that the space was, yes, she feels too dependent on the relationship (which I think she means emotionally but we don't ask for material things or huge favors for each other) but also dealing with the stresses of life in general. Thank you, you guys, for responding but, of course, I don't mind more insight from people. :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2007): When someone you love says they want space, your only and best option is to give them MORE than they want.
Sometimes people really do need some time for themselves, sometimes they want to explore a relationship with someone else and sometimes this is a nice way of breaking up with you. You can't really know.
Give her all the space she wants. Plan a trip with your friends or go visit some relatives. Keep yourself very busy and be unavailable to her. Don't call her. If she calls either don't answer or keep your conversation light and brief.
If she really loves and wants you this will have her missing you and driving herself crazy. She needs to realize what she is losing and she won't realize that if you are still giving her love, support and attention.
I am not saying to be rude or mean. Just be kind of cool and standoffish. Don't give her more than a few moments of time. Don't see her.
My boyfriend told me he wanted space and I cut him off and did my own thing. Less than a week later he was begging for my attention. It could take longer, but would having a month to yourself be a bad thing? If she doesn't come clamoring back to you, you know she wasn't worth it. And a smart girl will think twice about asking for space again if she fears you will go on with your life without her.
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A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (23 March 2007):
 Hi. Lots of couples get back together after having a time-out. The time can vary from a day to a few years, depends on the relationship! It's how you handle the whole thing that's important. People sometimes need to step out of the relationship to evaluate; it, themselves and their partner before committing long term. You don't own your partner so you can't stop them doing this. You have to be secure enough within yourself to face up to it and give them the space and support that they need. Relationships are always a risk and need 2 committed parties, so if one is not keen it obviously won’t work. I hope things work out the way you want. Take care.
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A
female
reader, chrissy32789 +, writes (23 March 2007):
 Dear ArtLove19,
I was in a relationship for 3 years with my ex boyfriend and i just needed space away from him to clear my mind and just have time alone the first time i needed space away from him was about 2 wks and the last time it was for a month but i still called him once in awhile to let him know that i still care, but usally i dont think it would last more then 2 months..good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2007): I am actually in the same situation that you are. After about 6-8 months of a wonderful relationship w/ an amazing girl she asked that she have some space. Just like in your case, she assured me that she loves me and I adore her. But, she is very scared of getting into a relationship for various reasons. To answer your question, I think that it may be awhile before you get the closeness that you need from this girl (its been about 3 months already for me) but she does love you. Give her the space that she so desires and hope for the best. That's all the advice I can give. Good luck my friend.
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