A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm an 18 year old male and I've been with my girlfriend for almost two years. The first time we had sex was on our one year anniversary and after that we did it about once a week. But we haven't had any sexual contact with each other for the last 5 months now and I'm a bit concerned. But whenever I try to confront her about it she starts saying that sex is all I care about! I don't know what to do?
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female
reader, No watered down advice here!  +, writes (27 January 2011):
 That's a GREAT decision, I hate that you may have to go your own way,but life is too short not to have someone who want you in ALL WAYS! But, remember her friendship will always be there.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou everyone :) I think i'll ask her and if she's just not attracted to me anymore then i think it's time to part ways
Thankyou
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (26 January 2011):
 To reiterate, if you wish a lifelong or extended relationship with this "girlfriend," then you need to focus on relationship issues other than just your sexual gratification. If you cannot understand that, then yes, just drop it.
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (25 January 2011):
Yes,there's something else you can do. Continue to NOT HAVE SEX. Some people just don't think sex is that important,and I would suggest that you stop trying to having sex with her but ask out of concern,what is bothering her that she's not in the mood? It could be something that happened in her child-hood. If that's the case let her know you love her and is willing to stand by her,while she seek help.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIs there anything else i can do other than leave her? I really only want that to be a last resort.
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (25 January 2011):
Well you sound like you do know the there's that possibility that she might no longer be attracted to you, in a sexual way. That's good that you know that, but don't let her control your life to the point where you don't date or see other people, now you know what to do, find someone else! You don't want to leave her but, you got to move on! I mean come on 5 months is too long to be without sex! And she doesn’t want to even talk about, now that's the WORST! ijs!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, sorry, this is the first time on this site so i'm not really ued to it. I see her 3-4 ttimes a week and i spend every second free i have round there. I haven't seen my friends outside of school for about a year now, she doesn't like it when i do. I have no female friends what so ever because she got really jealous. So i changed my phone number and didn't speak to any of them again. I do everything the same way i used to and i haven't even spoken to a girl for months let alone cheated on my girlfriend. I really worry that she's cheating on me though. If i confront her about it we'll end up arguing. I just don't think she's attracted to me anymore.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): I've done nothing different and i see her about 3-4 times a week. I have no ex girlfriends as she's the only girl i've ever been with and i dont talk to any other girls because she got really jealous when i used to. I changed my phone number and everything but this before we'd even started having sex. I dedicate every day i'm free to going round to her house, i buy her gifts, take her places. We have plenty of times when we're alone in the house but whenever i try to come on to her she falls out with me so i've just given up. I love her though and i really dont want to leave her.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 January 2011):
 Yikes. I would be concerned too. You both established and maintained a sexual relationship, yet she cut it off 7 months ago and deflecting conversation regarding her loss of interest in having sex with you.
There could be a great number of reasons why a girl would stop having sex, so I think we need more of the story before we can just say "yeah, it's this."
Did you either cheat on her or she caught you acting inappropriately towards another girl (like an ex or similar friend)? Did she catch you with a lot of porn? Her saying that sex is all you care about made me think of those things as a possibility. No, I'm not judging you, but in the absence of more details, I'm just going to hit all points.
It's quite possible that she has lost romantic interest in you, but is deflecting this fact by accusing you of only being interested in sex. Quite frankly, in the absence of the cheating/porn, having sex once a week doesn't make a sex crazed teenager. BUT.
You mentioned you only have sex once a week. Do you see her only once a week outside of school? Is every time you see her when you're asking for sex? It's quite possible that she perceived that the only time you got together with her was when you want sex, and that she couldn't just have a good time with you without feeling like she has to 'put out'. If this is the case, then DoubleM is absolutely right in saying that yes, a girl could feel used if you're only spending time with her that you expect will end in a booty call.
Either way, no matter what it is, there needs to be communication, and she needs to be honest with you, and you with her. If she is no longer interested in you, she needs to let you go. If you had been turning every date with her into a "happy ending" for that 7 months, you might want to talk about that. And, of course if there is cheating on either of your parts, that needs to come out and decisions need to be made.
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (25 January 2011):
And you still consider her your GIRLFRIEND? Well,if all you think is SEX, she sure don't care about your thoughts! ijs! I feel maybe you should ask her if there's something about the sex she don't like,and maybe she just want a FRIENDSHIP and not the sexual part with you. If that's the case then you have to prepare yourself for that. Most times women go through somethings that can bring about those changes. So,talk to her and get an understanding and remember that communication is the key in any relationship.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 January 2011):
Concentrate on friendship and cultivate shared interests.
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