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She says I'm all that she is looking for in a guy but that she still doesn't like me "in that way", why?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 May 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 May 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *inex writes:

ok, this is actualy a really odd situation

im an incredibley feminine teenager

infact im bisewxual (i know that doesnt necessarily make you feminine, i just happen to be)

i only actualy have 2 friends in the whole world, and i have had incredibly strong feelings for one of my friends for about 2 years now

i told her about a year ago how i felt and she said she "knew"

it didnt change our relationship in any way really, although she dopes live about 50 miles away

shes told me that im exactly what she looks for in a guy, "sweet, caring, sensative, kind, genorous, nice, polite, mature, friendly, respectful" and she said that id be the perfect guy for her, but that she just doesnt like me in that wayt and she doesnt know why

i dont understand this at all

she told me that the guy shes looking for is me, but doesnt like me

she doesnt mind the distance

is there any way i can make this friend give me a chance at a relationship?

please help?

x x x x

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A male reader, WastedLife United States +, writes (7 May 2008):

I have to agree with LazyGuy, with a couple of provisos. You CAN change your personality, and you can make it stick, and it is a lot easier at your age than mine. It's still a lot of work. If you want to go after the hottest women, you almost have to do it. Women are AC coupled - they thrive on large washes of emotion ups and downs - things most guys want nothing to do with, but that's the way they are. You need to seem dangerous, but not too much, playful and easygoing, and neither too feminine nor too straitlaced masculine. It's a gauntlet, yet women were programmed/evolved to go for guys that were not afraid of them, stood their ground, and were lightheartedly humorous AND physically aggressive. Bi and feminine will make you a good girlfriend, but not a desirable lover. Had I learned this all at your age, I would have a different handle on this site. Go for it - you will make the girls happy too.

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A female reader, WiccanWonder United Kingdom +, writes (6 May 2008):

WiccanWonder agony auntI think it is because you have been friends for a long time she is scared to ruin the realationship you already have. Explain to her, you like her, but are happy just to stay friends if you are, if not, try not to think about it, it may just fade.

I hope this helps

good luck

love & hugs

tashax

p.s feel free to message me anytime =D

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (6 May 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntIt is simple, there is a difference between what she thinks she wants and what she really wants.

Nice guys finish last or women want bad boys. A bit simplistic. It could really be as simple as knowing you got to stop smoking because it is bad for you, costs a fortune and is just disgusting. Smokers know this. They still don't stop.

But that is because they are addicted to nicotine. Yes, and dating the "wrong" guys, bad boys, gives women plenty of stimulation through the bodies own drugs that give them feelings they enjoy. It is more fun to be with a bad guy then a proper guy.

You really can't do anything about this, unless you are willing to change your personality completly, wouldn't recommend that. Just accept this as a one sided love and move on.

Not all women are like this, it is not even a very large group but they tend to be in the spot light. Lets face, normal people who just happily life ever after don't visit Agony Aunt sites.

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