A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i'll try and make this as brief as possible. I'm 21 and have never been in a real relationship. Last year i found out a friend from work liked me, which was a real suprise becus i have always liked her, but thought she was out of my league to even try. It took a while before anything really happened (ie our first kiss) for various reasons, but we have become really good friends. Mainly because she has a bad history with guys hurting her and acting like jerks. The big problem was her first bf she had for 3 years that use to abuse her, and still (i think) has some slight sort of control over her, but she says there is no love there. That was 3 years ago. But there have been a fair few 2 month relationships between then and now.Anyway, she always says i'm a nice guy, but would hate to ever hurt me because of the way she is from all her past. She is the most sweetest girl, I really like to make her happy and laugh. I thought things were about to become more, but then she said to me she really needs my friendship right now, with no complications. So I said I would. I think she doesn't want to lose our friendship, nor do i, if things didn't work out. I can accept being friends with her, as i think she is awesome to hang out with. I just can't help but think what's next, like is it wrong of me to still hope for more when she is ready, and i don't think i could handle the jealousy if she found someone else, and decided to go into a relationship with them. I hate jealousy, it isn't like me but sometimes it just comes out of no where, I never tell her if i am, I just try to let it go. I understand she needs time to sort things out, I just don't want to one day regret it if nothing happens in the future. Is it ok to think if things are meant to be, they will happen on their own, or is that foolish? All my friends tell me I have to stop being such a nice guy, or else I will never have anyone interested in me.If anyone could give me some advice, or you have been in a similar situation that would be awesome :).Thanks
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male
reader, ask sweeney :)  +, writes (17 August 2008):
 dont expect you and her to get together, even tho you wish it could be that way, remember theres nothing wrong feeling this way about her, because one its not negative feelings and two you cant help the way you feel, just explain to her exactly how you feel, and im sure she will understand you better, wich can only lead to positive things
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