| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: My wife has recently told me that should doesn't love me like I love her. She loves me but is not in love with me. She says it's not fair to me or her to stay together. She won't give me any clues as to what might be the problem. We have been married 16 years and have 3 kids, 14, 13, and 10. I've told her I will do anything to get this thing worked out. We've discussed therapy but haven't scheduled anything yet. I cannot stand the thought of losing her, especially the pain it will cause my kids if we get divorced. The past couple of years, I've allowed her to go out with her girlfriends and I believe this was a big mistake. She goes to a local cover band type bar and stays out until about 3am. One clue she finally gave me is that I don't satisfy her sexually. Is there anything I can do to get this turned around and back on track? I feel like I am coming apart at the seams. fyi... in 05 she had female type problems... fibroids and then a hysterectomy. My mother in law believes it is hormones because the doctor did not give her any hormones. My wife refuses to believe this is it. She also adamantly denies finding anyone else and her cell phone records didn't show any strange numbers. Please help.
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female
reader, bridget +, writes (16 March 2006):
 Hey there pet,
I hope I am able to help you out and get your life back on track..
Maybe your wife feels like she has missed out on alot of things that others dweld in growing up. Were you married young?
Were you her first serious partner?
I do understand that thses things can happen and they are not as easy to change as they are to begin. Dont blame yourself, Its certainly no ones fault, Its just the stresses and strains your wife may be hiding as she could be ashamed of them..
After serious illnes's such as:(Fibroids and Hysterectomy)the individual may experience a wake up call and this encourages them to do something they feel they may have missed out on at any given stage in their life..
When I had Glandular fever last year, I was ill for 8 weeks and all I wanted to do was die, I was so ill and I realised how much Ive missed out on, It changed my view of my job and I am now becoming a professional in my area of Profession.
My wake up call was a good experience for me because I needed something to kick start the confidence I failed to have in my job. Although sadly, your wife's had begun to put a strain on your relationship and she maybe doesnt realise how much strain she would put on your kids.
I would advise you to sit her down and explain to her the stesses and strains you feel she may have encounted on you and your kids.
It might give her a wake up call to change (especially with kids on the go), Do make sure you are sympathetic to her needs, If she needs space then give her plenty and always make sure that you are there for her if she needs you.
Im sure that she will come to her senses and take on her responsibilities as a Mother, Wife and Individual..
Good Luck
Jacqueline
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