A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My gf of 1.5 years is amazing for the most part. We have talked about getting married and moving in together and everything. We plan on moving in in the next 6months. Recently she told me that she feels that she will miss out on being young cause she is 22 and we always hangout. She said she wants to hangout with her friends more which is fine normally for me. The part I don't like is she always has a new guy she texts for a few months and recently this guy was an aide for her at school. She has hung out with him more than me over the past 3 weeks, citing she wants to hangout with her friends more. I feel like she just said that cause she wants to hangout with this guy but I do have 100% confidence she won't cheat on me. Should I be worried? Am I overreacting?
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (20 September 2017):
 What are you insecure about???
Do you have a letter from life that says she is yours forever?
No woman on the Earth belongs to you. You may get the privilege of having one of them say " I do". But do not think for one second she is yours. Because if you do not pay attention to her...well you know.
If you let yourself get caught up in jealousy, and insecurities now...What would you be like years from now? You wife will never trust you.
Accept this fact...she is just one of millions.
If she is not the right one for life...then how can you get your right one, if you are keeping the wrong one in your life??
Never be jealous or insecure over anyone.
A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (19 September 2017):
It may be time for a break. If your girlfriend has spent more time with another single straight guy then she has with you and it's not because of her job she is sending you a message. And the message is she is looking elsewhere.
At 22 you are both too young to be looking at marriage. Slow down on the moving in. Ask her does she need a relationship break for a few weeks, my guess is she'll agree. It will seem reluctantly but she'll actually be happy for it.
While you're on break don't sit around moping. Get out with your friends and live. It will hurt but better now than later.
Best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 September 2017):
 I agree that couples should have friends on their own - over time they usually end up "sharing" each other's friend group.
How many times have you met the guy? If not, suggest you all grab a coffee or something like that. I agree with WiseOwlE that if she is ALL for you two meeting then nothing is going on if she DOESN'T like the idea I'd wonder why.
I also think there is a huge difference in wanting to hang out with OLD friends and then solo hangout with NEW friends of the opposite sex. The later seems less like friends and more like someone had ulterior motives.
How do you think she would feel if you made a new female friend and decided you RATHER hang out with the new girl, than her? My guess is she wouldn't like it.
You two need to talk.
While I am a HUGE fan of partners NOT trying to dictate WHO the partner can befriend, hang out with, talk to, etc. I'm also VERY much opposed to a partner who hangs out with someone KNOWING it makes their significant other uncomfortable. I think it's kind of disrespectful.
I'd suggest next time she brings up hanging out with him that he sounds like a great guy and you would love to meet him. THEN gauge her reaction.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (19 September 2017):
 Personally I believe couples need to maintain their friendships and sometimes enjoy activities separate from their partners, but usually, especially as you two have been a couple for more than 12 months, each person in the relationship has met with the friends of the other. We like to know our friends like and approve of our significant other and vice versa.
However the timing here seems a little bit off kilter, have you met your girlfriend's new male friend? If not, why not?
Suggest you meet him, see what she says. If she doesn't seem keen to introduce the two of you I'd say your concerns are justified.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2017): You should let her know that you're fine with her hanging out with her friends; but if that means spending more time with a particular guy, that's not the same.
Postpone moving in together. She may have grown a little attached to the guy. All you can really do is observe her behavior and try to trust her. You can't marry someone you don't trust; and it sounds like she feels like she's missing-out on fun. If a guy is always involved, perhaps dating other people too. Don't jump to conclusions; but keep your eyes open.
You have to trust your gut. If there's too much communication going on between her and this guy; and they're hanging-out one on one. That's not acceptable, she's trying to be sneaky. Using friends as an excuse to get-out with one guy is cheating.
This is sort of sticky. She suddenly needs to hangout with friends, but he seems to be the only friend you're aware of?
Ask to meet him. If she's hesitant to introduce you to him; maybe something is going on.
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