A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Before I say anything else I must mention that I come from a part of the world where sex before marriage is considered taboo. I have had only 1 gf my entire life and I was a virgin when we met. We were together for 9 months and we had never engaged in sex.We loved each other very deeply and even talked of marriage and kids. She had broken up with her ex on bad terms and he stalked me on social media and told me that they had been sleeping together when they were a thing.I know it sounds immature when I say that I didn't think she was "that kinda girl", but here,in our society and especially the kinda family I was raised in; what she did would be similar to a married woman cheating in western societies.The thought of her being with another man (sexually) before marriage was eating me alive.For a long time I tried to fight it and kept my thoughts to myself to avoid hurting her.But soon enough it started affecting our relationship, and we would argue about the silliest of things. One day, she asked me what was really up and I couldn't hold it in any longer so I told her.She broke down into tears and admitted everything.She even went on to explain that she had been physical with another guy before Mr.Ruin my happiness internet stalker.While I was so grateful for her honesty, As hard as it was I had to end this relationship because I knew I would not be able to deal with it.It's been two years now since we broke up and there hasn't been any contact between us but the wounds are still very fresh.Sometimes I get so annoyed and lost.I've lost all enthusiasm for life. I've isolated myself from people because of all the trust issues I've developed to the extent that I've become a loner.I feel like I've lost all social skills and I just want be left alone all the time. I have lost all my game with women as well because I begin to judge them even before I talk to them.I just want to get back to a position where I can trust people again but this is very difficult for me as I have these deep seeded morals as a result of my orthodox and strict upbringing and I refuse to be associated with anyone who does not share these values.Somebody please help me! What can I do to start living again?
View related questions:
broke up, engaged, her ex, immature, married woman, stalking Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dougbcoll  +, writes (22 November 2015):
 you have your standards you should not have to lower . you know what you can and can not accept.
as far as the girl that was in your life i take it that she may be still in your heart and mind all the time? right.
she can't change were she has been, she can't change what she has done in the past. but she can be a friend to you, and a slow trust and love can develop.
let me ask can you live without her? do you want to live without her? maybe you need to give her a chance to let her into your life.
it may have been two years , but she is still in your thoughts, and heart. i take it she gave you enthusiasm for life. we are all imperfect people, we all make mistakes we wish we could do over. maybe you could offer love, acceptance, forgiveness. that is what she needs and you need.
if you at least do not make an attempt to contact her you may look back and wonder what could have been.
|
