A
male
age
41-50,
*ineguy277
writes:Hi all. I feel upset when a girl gives me her number and I call with no reply. There was a lady who gave me her number. After about a week, I called just to say hi. I have called twice but she has not picked up. However she said that she is in a financial situation and does not have credit on her phone. However, when I called her on my 2nd phone she returned the call. I think its quite disrespectful for a lady to see your missed call and not answer or return the call. In the olden days with no caller ID, it was easy to say that the person is not at home or is busy but with new cell phones and caller ID, you can see who called. I'm not saying that someone should call back everytime I call. Usually, if i call someone 2-3 times and the person does not call me back, i take the hint that the person is not interested in a friendship. I just think that if someone sees your call, the person should answer or return the call. It is easy to see someone's call and reject or refuse to pick it up, complaining that one is busy. But putting yourself in the person's shoes. How will one feel if calling someone and the person does not pick up. It looks and sounds childish to be upset by this.It could be a subtle sign of rejection, but wonder why someone will give number when they dont intend to pick the call. And even why am I bothered? Why do I not focus on the other girls that pick up my call? Why do i have to allow my day to be disturbed by what could be a selfish or poor person. I know that i could be drawing the wrong conclusion. I know, i should not be upset by this as she could actually be working, not have enough money to call back or whatever reason. By calling again, i will feel desperate, when I am not. I'm just calling to say hi. While i'm busy disturbing myself, she could be somewhere having fun. I have friends who do not have money but they go as far as using a friends phone to call if they miss a call. So, it goes beyond just availability of money to whether someone's character. Does the person consider you Does anyone have any I know i'm blowing this out of proportion. Please can someone help with a technique for getting rid of this compelling upset.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): Wow you are really going nuts over this calling thing, no offense but you really should be starting off with texts anyway and a week is too long to wait too.
You're catching them off guard by waiting so long and by calling. You should text them sooner than that, to say Hi, or it was nice to meet you the other night, how are you? etc.
Texting is more comfortable for women these days, especially if they're strangers. They can take their time to compose answers, they can consult friends etc. A phone call is very much a surprize and after a week of nothing to suddenly get a call out of the blue can be a bit too much.
Most of all you need to chill, big time. You sound needy and desperate in your post, if this is how you act when you're getting the numbers then it's no surprize they don't answer. Dating is about fun, not rules and people doing what you think they should. It might be common courtesy in your book to answer calls, but you really are going about it wrong. A nice simple text a day or two later is perfect. Waiting a week then calling is a bit weird, you're waiting so long they're thinking you're not going to contact them and then suddenly ring when they're watching coronation street for the night, or in the cinema or any kind of thing like that when they least expect it.
Text, that way they can respond in their own time, relaxed and compose a nice message back. You're not disturbing their routine and they'll happy you showed interest, if they don't text back they're not interested and you move on. Simple as that.
Relax!
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