A
female
age
41-50,
*evennyne
writes:I have been seeing my on and off boyfriend for almost two years now. He can be such a sweet and charming man but he can also be a psychotic bully as well. All of the problems started when I moved in with him away from family and friends. I always wondered why he wouldn't move with me. There were little signs that I ignored in the beginning. He would get extremely jealous over facebook friends and accuse me of cheating all the time. I never once cheated and without going into details I found out he cheated on me. After all the accusations he is the one who cheated on me!!! We broke up and he starts contacting me telling me he wants me in his life and he messed up etc. It is hard for me to see him like that so I moved in with him. It only got worse from there. He would spend the night with his baby's mama the one he cheated on me with and expect me to be ok with it. I was over 2000 miles from home with no resources so I really couldn't do much but leave. He wouldn't let me touch certain things in the place and flipped over minor things. I found steroids in his drawer and I know he takes them. I think this makes whatever complex he has worse. His bullying and head games has messed me up. I left again and am trying to stay away but he is using the fact I want a child against me. I am 34 and he is telling me I don't have much time and probably won't meet anyone that would want me. I hated how vulnerable I felt when I lived with him, but I also hate how I feel now. He has always been able to talk me into going back but I'm trying so hard to remember the bad times that I had there. Why am I feeling bad? This man cheated on me, disrespected me, called me names, and bullied me. What can I do that will help me heal? He's still getting to me. I want my life and self esteem back
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broke up, bullied, cheated on me, facebook, jealous, moved in, self esteem Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): Why are you letting him contact you? Why?
You say he always finds a way of talking you back to him, so why haven't you stopped him talking?
"I am 34 and he is telling me I don't have much time and probably won't meet anyone that would want me." and you're still talking to him why?
"I hated how vulnerable I felt when I lived with him, but I also hate how I feel now." Could that be because you're sill letting him play mind games by talking to him?
Are you getting the picture yet?
Look please don't mistake my tone as derision, there's nothing wrong with you, you're not a fool. You're just trapped in love with this freak. But you seriously have to cut off all contact and now! yeah it's hard, but it's a lot easier than putting up with his crap.
"am trying to stay away" Trying? What's that? never heard of it. I've heard of doing and not doing but trying is not doing and doing is the only thing that ever gets anything done.
Enough is enough right? If you want to build up your self esteem then start doing, not sitting around crying and saying you're trying. Stand up, dust yourself off and remove every single trace of him from your life, remove everything physical you have that reminds you of him or he gave you, burn all the photos, delete all videos and photos. Delete all methods he can contact you. Change your number, block him on social networking sites, block him from your email. It's exceptionally easy to cut contact with someone. Enough trying, it does nothing.
Don't feel bad that you let this happen,that you let him do this kind of thing, feel empowered that you're finally going to put an end to it all.
Just look in the mirror and say "enough!" I'm better than this, I'm not gonna let this weasel have anymore say in how I live my life and be done with it.
Just do it!
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