A
male
age
30-35,
*nk
writes:Hi CupidI need a way to tell a friend off respectfully due to their certain contant behaviour to show that I have put my self respect down for her and I have been trying to help her, but, instead of even replying let alone appreciation, she's trying to ignore me and push me away. To be clear here, I see her only as a friend and I am not trying to sleep with her or an advantage out her at all. The only reason is she is going through something which I did and want to support her. I don't care for any appreciation but because she's pushing me away, so I just want to hold back myself as well.I don't text her a lot(two or three in a week over whatsapp ) and wait until she replies. I prefer meeting in person so i hold back on texting, however, last time she didn't reply for a week so I texted again. When we meet, we exchange good wishes and she acts as she's busy or got to do something which at times she does but I'm not sure. If she's free, we talk a little as well which I think she's just being nice. However, if she's busy in person when I catch her(she never does), she'd be open and say she'd text me about it but she never would. I know she's careless but I think her actions speaker louder than her words. So I have decided to show that I wouldn't trouble her by asking her what she's doing over text or make an effort in person to talk to her actually. I want her REALISE that I always wanted to help but she NEVER wanted it. Little Background:Well, the girl and me had great times as friends and we shared lots of secrets in about a short span of few months. She told me she's surprised she opened up to me which she hasn't in a very long time.When I met her, she was in difficult time and I know she's a lot like me so she'd never ask for help so I stick around and used to check on her over texts. She'd reply at times and times she'd never do that. Lately she doesn't reply to my text if I ask her. Last time I met her a day ago and she actually told me she's so cruel to me but she wants me to check on her.How do I do it, in person over text or simply ignore her. I actually want her to know how I feel. I also plan to remove myself from the social group we are on. (It's like I made it for ease to check up on each other when we texted a lot but now we don't so I don't find a reason for it to stay. Yes, she wouldn't be blocked or not able to contact me. She'd still be my contact but not in my group which comprised of us )Help please!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 February 2015):
 This girl may not want your help, have you thought of that, nobody in this world is under any obligation to accept help that they don't want and that they haven't asked for.
She may view your attempts to "help" as invasive or pushy, or, if she is asking you to text her to check on her and she is then ignoring you or refusing to respond she may be manipulating you.
Which ever it is the relationship is not healthy for YOU. Telling her off is not going to achieve anything, especially if she has been toying with you, because that could be viewed by a manipulator as a "win".
Self preservation should be dictating to you to just simply close the book on her, stop texting, stop trying to help, stop being part of her games. Remove yourself from the online group, block her number, block her on social networks and concentrate on building new friendships that are more balanced in the give and take.
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