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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My husband is from kurdistan, iraq. He is waiting to get his passport and then he was supposed to be meeting me in turkey as i I dont want to go to kurdistan. The travel advice advises no travel or only essential travel as the situation could deteriate quickly. He lives about 50 miles from kirkuk where the soilders are fighting isis.. I told him no way do I want to go there as I am very scared. He said if I do not go there and wait with him for his passport which will be ready in about 3 weeks , then he is boing to get married and we are finished. I will admit I did say I would consider going the the other week but everytime I back ou bt as I scared. But he pressures me alot also saying he misses me and come down here there is no problems here. But I know its not 100% safe for a,westerner to be going to this place. What should I do, I already said ok go and get married then. But then he rings me back up. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2015): £1000 for a passport. I think he is a conman. Let him stay there. You have posted about this before I am sure. Why is this still going on?? Or are you another poor woman being conned by the same guy?
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (9 February 2015):
 It sums up RIGHT HERE:
"He said if I do not go there and wait with him for his passport which will be ready in about 3 weeks , then he is going to get married and we are finished."
That enough is reason not to go with him, because that shows that he does not love you. Who says "If you don't go with me, I'll drop you and marry another"?? Did he not marry you in your home country? Does he not know your nationality??
He's not with you now and is there? Well, I'd guess his family already has someone else in mind for him.
Get that marriage annulled. You would have grounds for that if he does the same thing.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 February 2015):
 Where did you two meet?
Where did you get married?
When did you get married?
Did you have friends and family at the wedding?
Why does he need a thousand pounds?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2015): I am the poster. He cannot meet me in turkey as he has no iraqi passport to be able to cross over the border into turkey. Now his saying if I will not come there then he needs me to send him a thousand pounds so he can sort his passport out and will have to pay someone.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2015): I was going to ask the same questions as Aunty BimBim.Have you met this guy on line? where did you marry him? Kurdistan is a relatively safe place compared to the rest of the region, and there are thousands of foreign workers working over there, many western countries have consulates there, and many airlines have daily flights there, but frankly many question marks rise concerning the guy himself. Have you met any of his family members yet?How can he say he is going to marry if he is married to you or even if he loves you? If he can come to Turkey to meet you then he must have a passport. Is he waiting for visa to be able to come to Europe? If visa is not granted will he ask you to stay in Kurdistan? living conditions there are very different compared to Europe to say the least, and could prove very harsh for a westerner. Think well before deciding to go.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2015): Didn't you already ask this question a couple of times before? And how can he get married over there if he is already married to you in the first place? Either way he sounds like an abusive, blackmailing jerk. Tell him good riddance and when he gets back, you'll be serving him with divorce papers.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2015): Not 100% safe for a westerner? It's SUICIDE going there. Look at that wonderful woman, a humanitarian worker from the USA who was kidnapped and reportedly now dead. She was there helping people.
You need to question whether this man actually loves you. Anyone asking you to risk your life like this is a questionable character. Have you actually met him in person? Save yourself any heartbreak or literally your life by ending all contact with him. Why does he want you out there so bad? Have you thought he might be associated with some of the fighters and could be lining up payment to hand you over to them as a hostage?
You say no, and you do not fly out there. As a western woman you will be a target for kidnappers, or you'll just be killed. If things go wrong out there you have no help, there's no police you can call and they'll be with you within 20mins; even the embassy cannot offer much help and god knows how far away from it you will be. There is a full on war taking place over there and constant battles fuelled by tensions.
You will not be safe, I would be questioning that mans intentions and would cease all contact and move on. No one who loves you would ask for you to enter a country that is in such conflict, especially when there are extremists who detest western people and society.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (8 February 2015):
Hello, there are a few points I don't understand, so if you could help clear them up I will be able to answer your question more fully.
If your husband is in Kurdistan, and is waiting to get his passport, where did you two meet, and where did you marry?
Did you have friends and family at the wedding?
If you are already married to him how can he say he is going to finish with you and get married?
Have you read the UK Government's advise on this website:
https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/iraq
Do you think if your husband loved you he would be asking you to put your life at risk?
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