A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I've been with my girlfriend for a long time, nearly a year. It was awesome at first, even though it is a long distance relationship. Recently though, she has gotten more controlling. I am in a Deathcore band with a dew of my friends who I am gonna stay with when I turn 18( 17 at the moment). I play lead guitar and do the singing and screaming. My girlfriend is constantly telling me my band is gonna fail because of the music we play. She won't even listen to it. She also says of I want to stay with her I have to move to her state, when my other band mates are in canada. I also want to grow my hair a lot longer, but she is forcing me to keep it short. I can't be myself around her. She constantly complains that her life sucks, and when I try to complain about my life, she acts like it's not important. She has even started flirting with a guy she met over a video game that lives in Germany, in front of me. The guy doesn't know me and her are dating, and it's starting to get on my nerves. When I tried to get her to let me have my long hair, she threatened to leave me for the German guy. I don't want to leave her, she makes me so happy at times in my miserable life, but now she is starting to drive me insane. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the help, I tried to work it out with her, but it ended up in both of us going our separate ways. She still wants to be friends, but I'm not sure I want to. It was for the best. Thank you.
A
female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (12 March 2010):
 a controlled relationship by your partner wont do you any favours you need to let her know she can give all the threats she wants but you will do as you please with your life even if that does mean growing your hair for example.you cant let her change who you are and what you want to do you are your own person and she should be supporting you rather than telling you that you are going to fail in life it is just going to get you down and lower your self esteem.she doesnt to be considering your feelings especially if she is flirting with this german guy.does that not make you feel like shes mugging you off?i know you have feelings for her but are you even sure your compatible?is she helping to make your life better or worse?you need to think about everything and work out if shes worth your time of day because to me she seems like she is being a bit unfair and uncaring towards you and the love you are showing her she is not returning maybe your better off apart to concentrate on your own lives rather than making each other miserable eventually
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): Hello.
Young love.
All of this sounds very immature on her part. You are in a band, you like being in the band, you want to have long hair and you want to stay with your band mates. Do all the things you want to do. If she really loved you, she would support you in all this.
Also your gf seems very manipulative. She uses the German guy as bait in order to stop you from doing things. She is obviously flirting with him in front of you to make you jealous.
This is far more drama and hassle than you need right now at a young age. Trust me there is more of this rubbish to come. For now just enjoy your life and do what makes you happy.
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