A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My friend will get mad at me if I'm not available to hang out. She gives me the silent treatment. When she finally does respond, she'll ask if I'm mad at her. I don't understand because she was mad at me and then is asking if I'm mad at her. When we see each other, she is very passive aggressive and will say all of these subtle jabs towards me, but if I react she'll say she's kidding. When I don't see her, she misses me. But when we get together, all she does is criticize. She'll poke fun of the way I look- how my nose is flat at the tip or how I never had a bf so I must be a lesbian. I don't understand why she is like this. Do I have a sign on my head or something? It isn't fair. I don't know if it's me and I'm a bad and ugly person. She makes me feel bad and I don't know what to do. Any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@So_Very_Confused- When I first met her, she wasn't like this. She was nicer, plus we had a group of friends. Now it's more one on one, so she seems to focus her energy on me. She claims she's "just joking" or "just wants a reaction" from me. I'm going to distance myself from her a bit and see how it goes.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 December 2012):
 **Does she really think I'm ugly when she makes fun of me?**
No, but she wants you to think you are, because misery (her) likes company. She is unhappy with herself/her life and want others to feel the same way. It may not be fully conscience of her to do this, but the effect is the same.
She wants a reaction, she wants you on the defensive.. WHY? because... she is a miserable person.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 December 2012):
No. She thinks she's ugly when she says it, and just says it to you to make herself feel better. That's why she does it. She's the one with the head problems, not you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDoes she really think I'm ugly when she makes fun of me?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 December 2012):
 She's moved away and you are young... her behavior is unacceptable... over time this relationship will probably fade away if you don't do anything at all...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can understand if I made comments towards her about something, but I don't! I enjoy our time because I don't see her as much anymore because she moved away. It usually shocks me when she says these things, so I don't say anything. (Then after she leaves I get upset, lol.) I just don't know why she's doing this.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 December 2012):
It's not you. It's her.
why do you even consider her a friend?
why do you even want to be around her.
she jabs you
she picks on you
she makes you feel bad....
my advice... stop being "friends" with her.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 December 2012):
I agree with CaringGuy.
It's not you. It's definitely her. She doesn't KNOW how to be a good friend. She is unhappy with herself or her life and therefore want YOU to be miserable too.
I would cut the contact. If you can't tell her flat out that she is just not friend material, I would just stop hanging out and slowly have less and less contact.
She sounds like a nasty piece of work.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 December 2012):
It's not you in the slightest. It's her. Clearly this 'friend' has some major issues in her head, and instead of dealing with them, she just picks on you when it suits her to make herself feel better.
This 'friend' isn't really a friend to you at all. She's just a bully. The best thing that you can do is just cut her out, and when she asks why, just say that you don't like her attitude and she's not a friend. Don't surround yourself with people who make you feel bad.
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