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male
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anonymous
writes: I am 16 years of age and interested in what you think I should do about a certain situation.There is this girl in my school which I really do like.We didn't really know each other (and still don't) but I could tell that at one time she liked me too. Unfortunately time has passed and I think that she may not like me.I told her a few months ago that I like her a lot, and the response was quite negative. So I said that I did not fancy her anymore and she began talking to me again.In my opinion this either means that she did not like me (and stayed clear) or that she wants me to stay interested in her but doesn't want to appear as though she likes me (a bit optimistic?).Either way, I was wondering what you think I should do. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, pops +, writes (18 August 2005):
Neither of you are old enough to know what you like or dislike. These are just word games. Please don't take them seriously. Talk to her when she shows an interest, and leave her alone if she makes it obvious that she does not want to be around you. As you grow older, you will better understand why you like someone, and why not, and will be able to understand why everyone your attracted to may not be equally attracted to you. Your choices will be limited, not because you are terrible, but you will recognize those girls who you like who may also like you. Try to have something in common with girls other than just attending the same school. Sports, hobbies, jobs, after-school activities, music, etc. all these topics can be both a way to meet girls who share your interests, and a way to find something to talk to them about as you try to get to know them. My second wife , who was 15 years my junior, invited me to a women's basketball game! I could have cared less about the sport. But, I went, because I was curious why a woman in her late twenties would ask out someone so much older. I found out at the game that she played pool, and didn't like basketball, either, so we left at halftime, and found a pool hall where we played pool for a couple of hours and got to know each other while doing something we both enjoyed. That led to another date, etc. See how it works? If you have something in common with this girl, ask her to join you in doing that. If she is interested, she will find a way to say yes, and appreciate the fact that you thought about what the two of you have in common and just didn't ask her to stand around a school hallway chatting while all her friends walked by and made funny faces at her! Once there is a reason for the two of you to spend time together, you can explore other interests and make a date to do something else. At your age, keep it cool, and don't press the personal relationship, or sex, for heavens sake. Even if she lost her virginity at age 10, she probably is too young for either of you to be getting that serious. Enjoy being an adolescent while you are still young. Save the serious stuff for when you are much older.
YOu only go through life once, and if you hurry up being " grown up", you will miss out on being a kid. The advantage of being a teenager, which I am sure you have forgotten, is that you are now old enough to try making your own decisions about your life, but if you make a mistake, your parents are still legally responsible to save you( from yourself occasionally)and are there to catch you. Once you are an adult, no one is there, and you will truly be on your own, paying the consequences of poorly thought-out decisions.
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