A
male
age
36-40,
*IFI212
writes:HiI have liked this girl at school for just over a year now. She knows this as i have told her in person. At first she didnt feel the same way about me which i was totally fine about, but then she started to say things and do things that suggested otherwise. I spoke to her about this asking her what she felt about me and her answer was that i was a great friend and that if she could choose any to be her boyfriend it would be me, but for some reason she didnt actually like me in that way. However recently i discovered that she does actually like me which she told me in person, but she felt she didnt deserve me and that i deserved better, this was because over the months she had never been clear to be about how she felt and had said things which implied she had feelings for me but then blamed it on something else, and she did apologize for this. I decided that i could forgive and said we should start something which she did say she wanted to do. However over the next few weeks we never did anything, never kissed never saw each other outside of school, but i put this down to the hact that we said we would take it slow. But at a party last week she avoided me and it was obvious there was something wrong, and then i spoke with one of her friends and it was clear she had had second thoughts. While i wasnt really annoyed about this i was annoyed that i took me to figure it out instead of her actually tellin me herself. i then decided that i needed to speak to her which i did and she said that she thought it was too weird and didnt feel right, she also said she still wanted to do stuff but couldnt and never gave a reason why, however i later found out from her friend that she thought we were too good friends apparently, she also said she still felt the same way about me. After much talking she also said that we shouldnt even talk for a couple of weeks and then deleted my number and told me to delete hers. I dont want it to be this way, ideally i would still be with her, but at the very least i want to be friends, but at the same time i am really annoyed with her that she was never truthful and didnt really give us a chance. At the moment i think i still like her but my friends are alll sayin i should hater her for what she did. I think if she turned round and said she wanted to try things again i would say yes despite everything she has done to me. What should i do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, SIFI212 +, writes (24 September 2008):
SIFI212 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi thanks for the advice!
While i believe you are right when you say these arnt the actions of girl who wants to date someone its still confusing as to what she actually feels. I spoke to one of her friends who said that as soon as i got with another girl she would become jealous and do exactly what you said, in some ways i feel this is what i should do to just make her jealous, however spiteful it is, but at the same time it seems necessary. And dont worry im dont think you are being horrible at all, what you've said is pretty much what all my friends have said, so it seems like the general consensus. I think one of the things i need to ask her, is why she would do all this if seh really did like me, like she said. At the moment im just taking some time out from her, but i think soon i will talk to her about it again, not about getting back together just what really was on her mind all the way through it.
Thanks once again mate!
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