A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with an older woman for two years and she has continuously lied to me during that time, pretty relevant stuff at the beginning like who she is seeing, spending time with etc. but as time has gone on we have gotten over that but now it is the more basic things she chooses to lie about. She doesn't make it up, I usually find out something, confront her and then she lies instead of telling me the truth but I have the proof shes lied in the first place so why carry on lying?? No one is a saint but 1. surely the person you are supposed to love you are supposed to be truthful to them? 2. She even lies to her parents, once about where we were going on holiday and 3 and most importantly she tells me I should trust her as shes never cheated on me but I question everything she says to me as I dont know if she is telling me the truth - but how can I not question it?
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cheated on me, on holiday, she lies Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Songwr1ter +, writes (9 January 2016):
Personally, I would just end it with her, because the trust is gone.. And it's not easy to get back... Why waste time trying to trust someone who keeps doing it? On the other hand, you could try and talk to her, and tell her that what she is doing is not right, and it is not fair on you, but that's it. If she does it again, then just end it. Life is too short to waste time on people who deceive..
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 January 2016):
 She may not have cheated on you, but off course you are not going to trust someone who keeps lying to you. You need to sit her down and make her realize that this behavior is unacceptable, tell her this is her last chance she needs to start being honest, tell her if you catch her on one more lie it is over, and if you do then you need to follow up on that and show her you are being serious.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (8 January 2016):
 Compulsive lying is hard to deal with. It is destructive in a relationship. A compulsive liar will resort to telling lies, regardless of the situation. It's a habit and hard to stop. Part of the problem is that compulsive liars won't admit they do it.Like many addictions getting someone to recognize that he or she has a problem usually requires their hitting rock bottom first.Another thing that makes it hard to treat is that it may be indicative of some other personality disorder.The way forward is probably through counselling or therapy for her.
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