A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I went on a date with a girl, it was great and we've been chatting a lot since. She asked to meet me again in a few days. The first date was friday. The second date will be the following tuesday.However, i have found out she has lied to me about what she did at the weekend.She told me she just stayed at home and rested, but i found out she actually travelled several hours to see another guy. I have no idea if the guy is a friend or more, i'm not really interested in the fact its a guy.I'm not bothered by the lie. If she wants to keep seeing me it is the lie that bothers me not the guy.Is that a major red flag or is it normal to lie in the early stages and maybe i shouldn't feel i am owed the truth at this stage? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2018): If she travelled to meet some other dude she is keeping her options open. You went on a date, you're not dating so she doesn't owe you an explanation, but I personally wouldn't feel comfortable going on dates with a man who is looking at other options, so you have to decide if that matters or not.
Go on the second date, see how it goes, REMEMBER she isn't the only one with a choice, if she doesn't suit you then you move on
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (14 November 2018):
 Like some of the other posts mention, i'm intrigued by how you know that she even did this. Im guessing you found out on some sort of post on social media.
However you found out is besides the point really, you guy's have only had one date, so she is quite entitled to go out, even if it is with another guy.
I don't condone lying, a good relationship is built on trust, a relationship without trust is like building a house without digging the foundations, sooner or later its going to fall down.
Be a bit lighthearted about it, go on the second date with her, and a third if it materialises. After a few more dates you will soon find out what she is all about.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 November 2018):
 I'm also curious as to HOW you know she traveled to see another guy.
I would not be happy with someone lying to me THAT soon in either. I can, however, understand if she omitted that she went to see someone else. And I agree with Janniepeg that if it IS a guy, it's not a friend. She would have had no problem mentioning hanging out with friends.
So if YOU want to see her again, have that date and mention that you are a one girl at a time kind of guy and would prefer a girl who isn't seeing multiple people at the same time.
Also, it's still so VERY early on that I don't really think she OWED you an itinerary of what she is doing in her life when not with you. Saying she has a quiet weekend in might just be because she didn't feel she knows you well enough to share. Or didn't want YOU in her business as you are still somewhat of a stranger.
I don't think it's a major red flag.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (14 November 2018):
 How do you know?
If she didn’t tell you then how trustworthy is her source? As janniepeg mentioned if it was another guy then it was more than likely a date and to travel that far for it suggests she’s very keen on whoever it is. I also agree with bringing up that you don’t date multiple people at once and see how she responds. Then decide where to go from there.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (14 November 2018):
 How do you know she travelled a few hours to see a guy? Weekend has two days. So maybe on Saturday she travelled, on Sunday she rested. She omitted the fact that she saw another guy. I would assume it's a date because if it's a friend, it's no big deal to tell you. If you still want to see her next Tuesday, you can get a better feeling by mentioning that you are the kind of meet one person at the time, and hope that she is too. Get a feel of it by reading her body language when she responses. If she is the person who does circular dating, then it would be wrong for her to tell you she is only seeing you. It's too much competition amongst other guys if she is willing to travel a few hours just to see one. All you would probably get is the early stage from her.
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