| A
male
,
*harlie
writes: I split up with my ex 12 months ago now and I am trying my best to move on,I am about 95% there at the moment. She left me for her married boss with 3 kids who told her his heart has never known so much love! and loads of other bull and she fell for it.Anyway as far as I know he left his wife and kids for my ex and they are now living together. I have no problem with this as its her choice and there is nothing I can do about it if she loves someone else. I went to pieces to begin with but I am now stronger and able to cope better.The thing is she is texting me most days asking for me to go for a coffee with her and being all okey,telling me she misses our holidays together and even i am her hero! I have never texted her since the split as I know its best I move on.She even almost begged me to go out with her the other day saying,please come out to play!! I never go and always put her off.I know I should change my number etc,but would still find this too hard. Its beginning to mess with my head,does she want friendship? or to get back together? I dont think i could handle going out with her as a mate knowing she has her fella at home.should I cut contact with her??,I guess I still love her and miss her,but its never going to be between us.I have been fine lately,its just getting to me the last week or so as she is now even emailing me from her work.thanks for any replies
View related questions:
get back together, move on, my ex, split up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (26 October 2006):
 If you want to heal, you have to cut out and discard the damaged parts.
You seem to be on the healing path but your ex is putting that healing to the test. Her conduct shows her to be a completely self-centred and self-absorbed person that does not get that bad choices beget negative consequences. She cheated on you and caused great damage, and now she is going to cheat again and cause great damage.
Do you want her to undo the healing you have achieved to this point? By now you should be strong enough to understand that this woman selfishly drains the life out of those she touches.
Whatever you decide, just remember that bad choices beget negative consequences. Good luck and take care.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (25 October 2006):
 If you truly want to move on with your life, you will have to stop any contact with her. It doesn't seem to me that she thinks about anybody else but herself. If she had any concern for you she would realize how she's hurt you and wouldn't keep bugging you. The future doesn't appear too bright for you if you allow her to pester you. Change that number and cut the strings. Good luck I'm sure you'll be just fine.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2006): I am exactly in your shoes. My wife and I talked on the phone last night for over an hour. She told me that she's now living with her boss (who left his wife and kids in another distant state). She has called and texted me constantly since she left almost two years ago. In telling me this latest news, she also tells me how great I am, how much she misses all the things we did together and wants to make sure that I will still be her friend. All I can tell you is that you must follow your heart. If you turn against it, you will forever regret it. The power of forgiveness is the greatest gift God gave us. The "world" would have us all just "move on" and find replacements. But without your heart being fully in it, that new one won't work either. You can move on by taking care of yourself, working hard, playing well and being successful in life. If your wife comes back and asks your forgiveness...listen to your heart. Same goes for talking to her now.
...............................
A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (22 October 2006):
 Yes you should cut contact with her, she is selfish and greedy and wants to have her cake and eat it too. She was already comitting adultery and wants to act all nicey nicey with you. Friend, forget about her, she will only hurt you again. xXx
...............................
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (22 October 2006):
 It sounds like the relationship she had so many wants from and expected to be something great has not lived upto what she really thought it would be therefore falling back onto you.
He started out with her while he was married therefore he will probably do the same to her as he did to his wife or he might already have and therefore she is realising what a big mistake she has made and knowing you still feel strongly for her feel she can come back to you and pick something back up with you.
Do you really want to be the guy that she runs back to because things aren't going so well with her new guy? Do you really want to get back with someone that left you for someone else, therefore proving her love for you in the first place probably wasn't what you thought it was.
Good luck :o)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2006): Sounds to me like she may want you back and maybe the married guy isn't looking so good to her....If I were you, I would avoid contact with her until you are good and over her, and then if you are interested in being a friend and want to look her up do so. I bet if you keep track of her, that you will see that her relationship with the guy who cheated on his wife won't last. Statistically if a relationship starts with cheating it has less than a 2% chance of lasting more than a year...serves her right I say, but hey, what do I kmow about her?
...............................
A
male
reader, Abacadaba +, writes (22 October 2006):
 to be honest, think of the saying, out of sight out of mind. If a 'friendship' wont benefit your feelings then cut off the contact, i didnt do that with my ex and believe me, i regret it SO much.
...............................
|
