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male
age
51-59,
*drian.Dion
writes: After our current 4th breakup in over a 1yr and a half, my still want to try again, because I truly believe in us.Hesitantly, she left 2 weeks ago, because she discovered that I still communicate w/ other women (couple of moved-on exs and real friends and coworkers). Although she knows that I haven't physically cheated, the communication alone is too much.She has a very demanding position at work and I guess she snooped around, worried that I may 'step-out'.Nevertheless, I love and constantly spoil her to death and only her. I failed in attempting to convince her that I would never have anyone 'extra' my life who would be threatening to her or our relationship. And now I'm prepared to remove every female out of my life and prove to her that I want us, her trust, and nothing else matters.I want to call, but is it too late? Is 4 times too many? She last said that her heart wants to stay, but...I know how discouraging these breakups are. BELIEVE ME. But I would try 100 times, until I/We got it right. Please Help... Xmas is coming.
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male
reader, Adrian.Dion +, writes (18 December 2006):
Adrian.Dion is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank Nikita.. That was a very strong response.
I don't know, y'all... My capacity to grow, learn, & compromise is pretty strong. Nevertheless, I'm confused as determining whether I just missing the lost of companionship or missing her.
I'm severely questioning my actions, in thinking maybe I have done something wrong/direspectful. I want to fully complement her and not cause her needless worry. She had a bad experience prior to me and I don't want to be reminiscent of that at all.
I just textd her, 2 weeks later,.. I said simply, 'I miss u terribly'. She responded 3 hrs later, 'Ditto'. What does that mean? I have a room full of Xmas gifts.
A
female
reader, Nikita  +, writes (17 December 2006):
 Hi Adrian. well from what i can see you've done everything you can to convince her that she is the only woman in your life. you've bent over backwards for her and i dont think that you should remove every female from your life because i dont think that this gesture would be enough. she obviously has a serious insecurity and self esteem issue and she really needs to work on that. once she feels more confident then she'll trust you more and wont feel threatened by other women. im not convinced that you should try again to be honest. she doesnt seem to appreciate what you're trying to do here. you love her and want only her but she still wont believe you. you cant avoid talking to other women forever. i think that you should take a step back from this relationship and let her see that you not prepared to tolerate her mistrust. make it clear again that you're not going to cheat on her but that you need some space to think about things because no matter what you do nothing seems to make her trust you. maybe then she'll try and make an effort in the relationship. i hope things work out for you Adrian and try and have a good xmas okayx
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A
male
reader, Adrian.Dion +, writes (17 December 2006):
Adrian.Dion is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo,... She isn't attempting to be as serious as Auntie is suggesting below.She feels that I'm hiding these 'contacts'. It's not about every woman that I may come in contact with, it's moreso threatening to her that these people (of my past) are people that she doesn't know.Or maybe thinks that it may lead to something...
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A
male
reader, Adrian.Dion +, writes (17 December 2006):
Adrian.Dion is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your responses,..
Any suggestions on what I should start off by saying? I really want this attempt to reconcile to different & more encouraging than our pasts.
We both contributed to those times, but I desire only for us to get better,...if not seemingly perfect.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Haly +, writes (17 December 2006):
Man what a dilema, i can not belive you would give up communicating with other females just to be with her, It's impossible man, what you gonna do? wear a sign explainging your girlfiend don't like it when you talk to women, explaining why your mute most of the time. This is ridiculous, think about it, if you work with women it's impossible, even if you do manage it what about the next blow out from her when you've spoken to the lady at the checkout or when she says you've looked at your brothers wife to many times and you can't talk to her no more. She is being totally unreasonable, would you expect her to not talk to men any more and even if you do, you can't follow her to make sure and vice Versa. No man don't call her, Yes it is to late, just because its xmas doesn't mean you need a lady on your arm, There's tons of party's going on, so grab some mates, Male and Female and head out to one, Oh and take some mistletoe you never know who you might meet, remember a new year is approacing and i suggest your 1st resolution is to stop letting women walk all over you.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2006): I dont believe its ever too later. However i do feel she is making it quiet difficult for you as not communicating with other females is surly a bit extreme. Maybe try to make agreements also assuring her in every possiable way that you are devoted to her, and only her...
good luck xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2006): Of course it's not too late. I'm sure she'll be glad if you call her. But you must understand that you should be careful not to trigger her insecurities with your actions. Words are not enough.
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