A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of 10 years left me a while ago. She lost a lot of weight and started hanging out in clubs with people who would never have accepted her before the weight loss. All the attention went to her head I think. A month after she left she met someone. He's an engineer and apparently is the total opposite of me. Whatever that means. I was always good to her, spoiled her rotten and never cheated or treated her bad. It feels like its all about money and status now. How long will this last? She moved to a high class area and where I live is apparently backwards and not classy enough. Do you think she's going to wake up one day?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (15 July 2013):
 She lost weight and found confidence. Losing a lot of weight often has a negative impact on relationships that were already in effect before the weight loss.
It's not a question of her waking up... it would be a question of her returning to who she was (and obviously did not like) before she lost the weight.
Your best bet is to grieve the loss, know it was NOT about YOU PERSONALLY and give yourself permission to heal and move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2013): Read my article at:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-got-dumped-and-i-know-how-.html
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2013): My friend, why should it matter to you? You should be spending this time getting over her, not worrying about what's going on in her life. It's all about you now, dude!
She made a change in her life. She lost weight, made some new friends, and she changed the scenery around her. You were the love of he life once; but she has changed. It's called growth.
We sometimes start out small and simple. Then we kick it up a notch, and things change. New doors of opportunity open for us, and we seize the moment. She had a plan, and she moved on to seek what she wanted. So should you.
It may make you feel better about yourself to criticize her; and to make negative of what she has made positive for herself.
What she is doing now, doesn't have anything to do with you; or what you offered her when she was with you. It didn't work; because she was not who she really wanted to be. Now she is. Relationships are not always permanent. They sometimes help us to grow and discover ourselves, and at some point we may outgrow where we are or who we're with.
Now you have time to seek your own goals. To do what you want to do, and focus on healing from the loss of your girlfriend. She gave you ten years of her love and her life.
That's a big chunk, not even being married. So please wish her well, just knowing she isn't doing badly.
I wrote an article for dearCupid, about survival after breaking up. Check it out and see if it gives you a little inspiration to move on, and discover who you really are. It's never too late to change and to grow. I hope there is some way I can inspire you to move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2013): Honest answer ' no' .. People can change.. Relationships that people once thought they wanted no no longer complete them.. If she did come back, and I'm sure you would do your best to forgive and forget .. The cracks would appear .. She is now very materialistic which is a big red flag .. I love lovely things .. Don't get me wrong.. But I love people more..An example..I was visiting a friend ( male) a lawyer btw who is divorced.. And his youngest daughter was playing with the dinning room chairs .. She had lined them up in a line and was playing ' airplanes ' with her imagery people going of on holiday . Etc of course she had gotten sticky marks on the seats and the armrest . Her father has an absolute meltdown before my eyes because they chairs were nearly 500 hundred pound each..I casually went ' look they clean up, she certainly didn't mean to make a mess .. She playing ' to diffuse the situation I became more aware as the friendship proceeded how much a materialistic person he was.. It was not pretty..My advice move on.. Get back in the dating game even if your heart doesn't want to.. Meeting new people even as friends is interesting and you can always find something amusing out of your experience..Your a catch .. And there will be someone who will see that and want to be with you.. Just take care x
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