A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 26 years. Four years ago my wife had a hystorectomy and since then has lost all her sex drive and no longer has any desire to have sex. She no longer has an orgasim, so doesn't see the need to have sex. When we did the past year, it was usually after I had begged her or pesterd her until she said yes. Her usual response was NO. If I attempted to place my hand on her breast or on her crouch when we got into bed, she would move it. When we did have sex, it was with her laying face down, and she would tell me if I didn't hurry up she was going to get dressed. Talking about away to kill a hard on. One night while at her sister's house, where we had been drinking heavily, her sister lay down on the couch and fell asleep. She had her legs spread wide and I had a perfect view up the legs of her short shorts and she was not wearing any panties. I would be lieing if I said that the sight over pussy did nothing for me. After a few minutes of seeing this I reached over and started rubbing her rear and eventually slide my finger into there shorts. She eventually rolled over and I got up and went to the bathroom to masturbate which did not take very long at all. The next day we again had been drinking a bit and she again lay down on the couch to take a nap. This time when i reached over to cop a feel she awoke and she told my wife what I had done. Needless to say I am in the dog house and am the bad guy in all of this. Yes I should have kept my hands to myself, but damnit, I was drunk, horny as hell and had been deprived of sex without having to beg for it for so long. How long can a man be expected to masturbate, hear the word NO and when I did finaly get her to have sex it was usually after hearing the phrase, I guess so. And then she just laid there, facing away from me and asking if I was done or if I did not finish soon she was getting up and getting dressed. Am I really the bad guy here?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (30 July 2007):
 You should be in the dog house for what you did, borderline rape actually. Your wife has to make an appointment with her doctor, there is medication now that can help her recover her sexual desires. Remember the shoe could be on the other foot, what if something happened to your sex drive, would it be okay with you if your wife went around feeling sleeping men's genitals? Be encouraging to your wife and work this out together through love and understanding and of course modern medicine.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): Please don't follow the adice of Phil below, to threaten your wife that you will find it elsewhere and demand that she put out more is a horrible attitude that will drive the wedge between you even wider, my guess Phil isn't married or has control issues with his own wife, sorry PHil, but really!
You don't need to go to a massage parlor either, that is cheating and cheap behavior...your wife has a real medical condition caused by changes in her body due to her radical surgery of losing her uterus! What do you think would happen to you if you were castrated? Point taken.
She needs to discuss her lack of sex drive with her doctor, and she needs to get on some hormones that restore her libido, and she needs love and patience from you, not threats....women are not different from men, they don't just want to do without it, there is a reason beyohd her control that she does not feel like it....also, women are not as physically strong as men, sometimes after a long day we don't have the physical stamina to be a human pin cushion for our mates, but we need to be a little more sensitive to their needs than to just say hurry up!
I think if you open up the dialogue between you and your wife, things will certainly improve for you both.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007): If I were you I'd tell her she needs to put out more often or you're going to find it elsewhere. Women are different to men, it seems, and can do without.
It's not a good idea to go after your sister-in-law though. Could be bad news.
Try to stay married for the sake of the bank balance, and get your sex wherever you can. Even if it means visiting a massage parlour. You're not likely to pass anything nasty on to your wife if she never puts out are you?
Phil
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007): Yeah, you are a bad guy for getting drunk and for feeling up your sister in law, how creepy for one! And, don't blame your wife's lack of a sex drive for being a creep.
Your wife needs to seek the help of her doctor for her lack of sex drive is due to a lack of hormones that her body has stopped producing due to the operation, but that is no way to live for her or for you....she needs to seek hormone replacement therapy, and her sex drive will return...the longer you put this talk off, the more your resentment will grow....be open and upfront with her and how you are feeling about being treated like she is merely servicing you as a duty or a chore.....and go from there...leave the sister alone, and keep her off of your couch.
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