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anonymous
writes: My closest friend is of the opposite sex and we get on great together. I thought it was platonic, but after a year she admitted she had feelings for me. Unfortunately the feelings weren't reciprocated. I didn't want to say that because I didn't want to hurt her feelings but I thought it was clear how I felt as she said that it was OK that we were just friends as she valued our friendship. Throughout the next year we got on again, although it was clear that she still felt something, and made a few smaller attempts. Always ending in me feeling guilty for hurting her and her feeling embarrassed and stupid for putting our friendship on the line. Finally today (valentines day) she gave me a card and letter again revealing her feelings. I don't what to do or say to her without creating negative feelings in both of us. And I don't know if I can continue being her friend if it means I'll keep on hurting her all the time. Can you help or give me advice about what to do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Natasha, writes (16 February 2005): why dont you try double dating? Maybe you could introduce her to your friends. The same thing happened to me and now the guy who likes me is dating one of my best friends. We still see each other all the time and it's much more comfortable. Dont feel guilty, it's not your fault! Good luck! xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2005): You need to sit and have a serious talk with your friend and explain that her friendship means a lot to you but that is all it can ever be. To leave her hoping will only hurt her more in the long run because she will be forever hoping. Perhaps you should cool the friendship a bit. After a while it may get easier for her, but to leave things as they are is going to put a strain on your relationship and perhaps ruin a very good friendship.
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