A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Bout 5 years I had a crush or fell in love with a girl. I wanted a relationship but she rejected me. She started to date other guys so I left. Took a bit but I got into a relationship and she got married. After years not talking my relationship was dying so I called her for advice. She was mad saying I knew her dreams etc and said I would have to earn her friendship. I accepted it said I deserved how she felt apologized and ended the call. She sent a txt every few days. She wanted to go out or have a dinner for closure. The day my relationship ended she called almost immediately after I told her what happened. She was in an abusive marriage and was recently divorced. Her txt changed a little adding sweetie in reference to me. After a week I asked out for dinner we talked hung out for 6 hours. Couple weeks pass I replied to her txt I got every few days but didn't initiate any. One day I said I needed a NSA relationship as I had no sex in months. We talked on phone a couple hours then she asked if I was still taking applicants. I said if she wants it its all hers. Then her txtx got personal and naughty. She asked me if I remember how she felt I reminisced about the only time we had sex. She asked why I was remembering that. My question is does she want FWB or does she want more but took FWB in case I find another so she don't loose me again? She knows I want NSA to get over my ex I told her I tried to honest and up front as much as possible
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2013): Cerberus said,
"Look women are perfectly capable of having NSA sex and not giving a damn etc. but one thing they're not capable of is believing what we say to them."
LOL. So true.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 April 2013):
 I agree with Cerberus. If you want NSA and even if you told her that's what you want, she will probably not react well to it being over when it is and that will destroy the friendship.
BTW, something like NSA/FWB will NOT help you get over your broken romance. In fact, it might make it worse.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013): OP if you're worried about losing her as a friend and want to have her as a friend in the future the NSA sex is going to fuck that up.
Look women are perfectly capable of having NSA sex and not giving a damn etc. but one thing they're not capable of is believing what we say to them.
OP women are strange creatures in that sense. You've made it absolutely clear that you don't want a relationship, it's very obvious that you're not ready for one either but it's very unlikely she actually believes your words if they conflict with her hopes or desires.
I've told many a woman I only wanted casual sex, for them to turn around two months later and say they love me and were expecting me to love them too. But I made it clear from the start that it wasn't on. They just won't listen.
Now your specific situation I wouldn't go near her sexually. Too many reasons for this to get fucked up.
1. You have history, a history of you deeply loving her. That makes the risk of you becoming attached to her very quickly, very real and you're more than likely going to get hurt.
2. You're both really just out of your marriages, both still completely messed up and all over the place emotionally.
3. She's just out of a crazy abusive marriage and frankly may have some pretty severe psychological fallout from that, even a casual relationship may fuck her up bad, her head may be so messed up that things get very heavy and messed up.
4. Again OP, you can tell a woman you don't want a relationship but most think you can't mean that or you wouldn't want to sleep with them, cuddle, sexy talk, be affectionate etc.
5. You have too much emotion, history and messed up heads for this to be just casual. Your friendship is already really heavy OP, you turned to her for advice about your divorce, she's turned to you for comfort for hers. Those are some big fucking strings right there OP.
If you want a casual sex relationship find a woman you have no history of profound emotion with, one who is single and enjoys casual sex, one who is not in the middle of a messy divorce and one who has not just come out of an abusive relationship.
OP you would be taking advantage of this woman, she is in no state to know what she wants. She's just spent the past few years being ground down by an abusive asshole, she may well see you as a hero figure, someone to fix her, ease her pain. NSA is not a possibility here at all if you ask me.
The only reason I would go for it OP is if I didn't care about how it may effect her and if I didn't really want her as a friend anyway.
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