A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, iv known my bestfriend for over five years now and we have built a strong friendship between us. I like to think its a romantic friendship, were we hold hands and mess about together nothing intimate or sexual, we also say "i love you" at the end of texts and face to face. Its sweetIt all began in October 2009 where i developed feelings for her, i didnt want to fall in love with her but i did. Anyway she got a boyfriend in March 2010 just before i started my exams, this played a lot of tricks on my mind but i ignored it and carried on. In July 2010 i told her how i felt, i called her to my house and we went for a walk to the local park where on the swings i sat her down and told her how i felt. She had a boyfriend at this time, she ended up crying and we hugged for over 5 minutes. She said she only saw me as a friend, i tried to move on and i still cant. She then broke up with him in October 2010 and she decided to text me about it, i ignored the message at first and replied back to what she had said, then she told me again. I didnt know what to do or think i was confused.Anyway thing were normal until February 2011 where i just had a break down and i told her i loved her. It all went down hill for me for a few weeks, i was on cannabis and alcohol, i was cutting myself too. i couldnt take it. She has now got another boyfriend and its killing me so much inside, id fight for her until the end of time. Id do anything for her, my heart cant take it anymore and neither can my mind. Our friendship is no longer how it used to be, it feels like i ruined everything. I want a relationship with her so bad, i cant do anything now. Iv tried moving on and i just cant do it. I stay up until 3am on school nights maybe even 5am! I have a few good friends who help me through each day, i seriously dont know what to do anymore.Thank you for reading, it would mean a lot to me if i got a reply. Thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (16 March 2011):
 Man oh man, I know how you're feeling. Unrequited love really sucks, and so does being that "friend" when all you want is something more. It's a difficult pain to deal with because it's like mourning the relationship that never was.
I know you have tried, and I know you don't want to, but you definitely need to move on. Usually the best way to do that is to cut her out of your life. Then you grieve the dead relationship. You'll get mad, depressed, go through denial, try to figure out ways to make it happen, but eventually, you'll accept that this was a moment that just didn't end up going where it could.
You did all you can. You confessed your feelings, which is a step that most people do not do when they face similar situations. That took courage, and that's something to remember. You have that strength inside you. If you have the strength to confess such feelings, you have the strength to make it through them.
To occupy your mind, I suggest you take up a hobby. Something that will expend your energy. Perhaps a sport, or a craft. Be productive, it will help keep your mind off your problems. Time and space can heal these wounds, but you need to let her go in order for the healing process to start.
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