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male
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*r Carpenter
writes: I work at a hotel and a new receptionist started. She had been going out with this guy for three years, and had been best friends with him for two years prior to that. Anyway she starts working with me, and there's obvious chemistry between us. I am her boss, and at first we just flirt and don't let anything happen. Anyway, I am training her up every day for about 3 weeks and then my situation at work changes a little, some responsibility comes off my shoulders and I can suddenly entertain the idea of seeing this girl.We start off just touching hands while working, then we progress little by little until we start sleeping with each other. As its a hotel, I have live-in accommodation. Whenever she would work a late shift followed by an early shift next morning, she would tell her mum and boyfriend that there was a room in the hotel to stay in when in actual fact she was staying with me. Well, she always calls/texts him before she goes to bed and she would ask me to keep my voice down while she calls, usually slipping in the phrase, 'my battery is low' or 'i'm going to sleep now as i start early' before turning her phone off. The following day she would work then go home as normal. One night, a couple of months after we first spent the night together, her boyfriend went round to her house and after an argument, he stormed upstairs in a strop. He came down an hour later and chucked her phone at her. We had been having calls every night for weeks for usually a couple of hours a time, until 2, 3 sometimes 4am. She said that her friend was going through a break up with her boyfriend, and that she was offering some support late night. She then said that if he didn't trust her they should break up.The following day, we saw each other, but she said we would have to try and hide our growing feelings for each other and remain as friends. Little by little, we knew this was not possible and we carried on seeing each other as more than friends. To date her boyfriend has suspicions about me, having thrown me into a few of their rows, but has nothing concrete to actually accuse her of anything. She has told me that if he messes up this chance, she will be with me.I love this girl and she loves me, but it is not as simple as finishing with him, as their families all get on, and she still does, deep down, love her boyfriend. As someone on the good end of a faltering relationship, I don't want this guy to get hurt, but as each of us has only one life, I don't want to ruin any chance I have with this girl, and would rather I end up happy than him.Given the above story, there is now part of me that thinks 'if she can do it to him, she can do it to me.' Having worked with her (she has since been let go), there was one guy at work who really liked her. He asked her out, and me being an inherently jealous guy, I got a bit pissed off with her not telling him where to go. Ironically, I do not get at all jealous when I think of her with her boyfriend, but I get jealous over the possibility that she could be thinking about seeing this guy at work. Now, she has been using msn messenger to chat to another guy at work, a good friend of mine whom has told me to be careful about seeing her (she is 6 years younger than me). Recently, i was chatting on there to this friend and he told me that the girl had asked for the guy at work's e-mail address. While he didn't give it to her, he did take the girl's msn address to give to the guy. And now, I can't shake the thought out of my head that she might like him more than me and is looking to contact him about meeting up. Also, I know that msn can lead to a lot!! I don't know what she is getting up to, maybe nothing, but I am more jealous of this possible bed of feelings than the relationship I know she is in!
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (26 February 2006):
 Why are you letting her use you in this way, she is having sex with her bloke and you and all the lies she is telling to him she is probably telling to you.
I would not believe a word this girl says, you should do the decent thing and bin her off, she is a user and she will ditch you for someone soon enough if you dont wake up.
Forget her and find a girl who is not sleeping with anyone else, one who will want just you, she is not so special as you think when you look at what she has been doing to her boyfriend, she is just a user.
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