A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a bit of a problem with my friend that i dont no how to address. She is more like my sister and we have been inseperable since young children so it is obvious then that when i started planning my wedding i asked her to be my maid of honour. She told me she would be thrilled. At the begining she became very full on and every time she came to see me. The wedding was the constant topic and tbh it drove me a bit mad, i didnt want our friendship to suddenly revolve around it. Then all of a sudden shes blowing cold and avoiding me. Iv said 'if u hav problems come and talk coz im your friend' but all she replys is that i should concentrate on my wedding! My dress arived the other week and every time i Ask if shed like to see it she makes an excuse. Im so confused as to what is happening. I love my friend and and she obviously has a problem and i just want to be there for her but since i got engaged it seems like all i am to her is a bride to be and its really hurt me. I promise iv not been a bridezilla of any kind and iv kept the preSsure off my bridesmaids mostly coz they are all very young. I just wish i could understand what is going on. I feel like shes messing me around when i could really do with having her on side. Iv asked if iv done something wrong and shes promised i havent so why all this erratic behaviour
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (4 November 2011):
 How close is it to your wedding??
I don't think it's so much jealousy, it's more of she thinks she's losing you.
You two have been have been basically sisters your whole life. Now, you're getting married and having a whole new life that barely includes her.
Once you get married, it's hard to hold onto your single friends. You have your a new chapter to get adjusted to, you don't don't want to make your friend feel like she's the third wheel, also don't want to keep coming up with blind dates for her so you can do couples outing, and you just can't go out with her all the time like you used when you weren't married. Sometimes single friends can't help but feel a bit of jealousy when their friend is still married and they're still looking for their mate.
Unfortunately, life happens and you get too busy with your new life and put that friendship on the back burner. Happens all the time.
If she's like your sister, then you need to have a heart to heart to her about what exactly is going on with her.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (4 November 2011):
 OP: Yes, her attitude is very upsetting for you, and you do need to talk to her and just ask whether she'll be your maid of honor or not.
Whatever the outcome, don't let it spoil your wedding! You'll be starting a new life with your husband, and that's the main thing.
But I will end by saying I hope it works out with her.......if not, well, unfortunately, life happens sometimes.....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 November 2011):
 Talk to her. After all she is your best friend. Maybe she thought you didn't want her ideas about the wedding, maybe she felt like her input didn't matter. Talk to her, that is the only way you will truly know.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): I know how you feel. I have a similar situation with friends of mine. I sense and my partner sense's that none of them like him. They all used to be nice and friendly to him and now they hardly speak to him and make him feel very uncomfortable. Neither of us know what the hell he has done to make them act this way. The only solution for me is to come out and say I know you don't like my partner what's the go. But it takes a lot of guts to do it and I don't know how I'll ever get there with it. So my answer to you is try and have courage and ask her straight out what's going on and then see what happens.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): Its okay i no that there is nobody that can give a magic answer. I just needed someone to talk to. My parents are paying for the bridesmaids outfits. So i doubt its money. I wud hate to think that its jealously. Iv been with my fiance for a long time so this isnt a sudden thing. I guess im feeling bad coz i thought that i meant more than to be treated in that way. We have always looked after eachother and now i feel really alone without her
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (4 November 2011):
Now, how on earth could we know why she's suddenly blowing cold over plans to be your maid of honor?
It might be anything from her being envious because you're getting married and she isn't, to being unable to pay for the dress she's expected to wear. You really have no choice other than to flat-out ask her what's going on and whether she intends to be your maid of honor or not.
It really does sound as if she would (for whatever reason) prefer not to be. In that case, you have no choice but to let her off the hook and make other plans.......nothing else you can do if she doesn't wish to.
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