A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm not really sure where too begin. Shelly and I met over a year ago. She was in another relationship but still there was some crazy deep attraction going on between us even we can't explain. Her relationship ended around oct. of 08`. Feb 20th 2009 we got together. Shelly is in the military, currently serving active duty. We don't get too see one another that often. It's difficult at times but I know our love is so deep and she has told me repeatadly just how much I'm her person and she can't wait to come home too me, and that shes so incredibly crazy in love with me. Than the ball drops. Yes, I was wondering the same thing..what? I flew down too see her about a week ago, now I want everyone too know prior too this(bout 2 weeks) she had been going through some things trying to figure out if maybe we jumped the gun too soon, if maybe we've rushed things, looking at things she hasen't done in her life, mistakes she has made. Now we both have this emotional communication problem but we some how work through it together because we love each other and we want to be up front and honest.She tells me, "I'm not sure I can commit 100% to this relationship when I don't even know what's going on with me right now, I still love you and care about you. Theres a huge possibility that I'm going too be deported(around the time she was originally supposed too be home, but she'll be inactive till` she's 31) if I pass this test and move up a rank, it'll require me too sign this piece of paper and I won't have a choice. It's going to be anywhere between 6 months too 2 years. I don't think it's fair too have you wait around why my life is like this. I'm trying too be an adult here and if I were to come home in oct I hope we can try again." She thought talking too me about it in person is better than over the phone since that's all we pretty much have.My question is, she says she still wants too be friends and prior too all of that she said we were still together and still love each other, about a week before. How can you only be friends with someone your still in love with? I mean I guess you have too make sacrifices and I'm willing too wait however long it takes. Because, honestly if we can never be together again, I'll spend my days alone.What she's going through is really out of her control and I can understand why she thinks it's the best, but when I said I'd wait forever I meant it.I'm kind of confused..any insight?
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male
reader, Prophet7 +, writes (16 May 2009):
I think she may want some freedom to do what she wants and doesn't want to hurt you. If she was in love with you she would not try to demote you to the "friend". DON'T PUT YOUR LIFE ON HOLD FOR HER BECAUSE SHE'S NOT PUTTING HER LIFE ON HOLD FOR YOU.Get out and live your life. Be social with friends and don't sit around the house getting depressed. Sounds like she's using her new duties and transfer as an excuse for a. way out of the relationship. My first gf got married 3 months ago. The man she married lived in Paris, France and she lived in New York. They had a long distance relationship for 3 years and they made it work. One year she only saw him once for 2 weeks. When there is true love between a couple nothing can get in the way including personal problems or distance between the two. Save your love for a woman who will return it. If I were you I would worry if you guys stayed together. She started having eyes for you when she already had a bf, she could do the same to you. Let her have her way and give her lots of space to think about her decision. She might regret her decision to end it.This type of behavior is familiar to me, she clearly doesn't know what she wants but you should not be a victim of that. Move on friend and talk to some other people who are experienced in relationships for additional advice. Hope my advice helps you. God Bless... Prophet7
Ps- Her wondering if you jumped the gun on getting together is a clear indicator that she may just want out. Pay attention to the signs, there usually in front of our face.
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