A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My lady gets mad couse I pointed out two bruises on her back she didn't have before last time we had sex was 5 days ago she takes of one morning to school with baby Dady for conference metting regarding son school I find her on find I phone she wasn't at school she tells me I'm seeing shit and then 5 days later I point out the new bruises goes histerical Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 September 2017):
 I bruise all the time. You are the one with the issues here, why has she cheated before and now you are paranoid? It is obvious you don't trust her and you need to work out why. It is not normal to track someones phone.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2017): The bruises are not evidence of anything. However, if your girlfriend tells you she's going to the school with her ex, then she doesn't go there, you have a right to ask where they went and why it wasn't where she said. There may be a very innocent reason. They may have arrived at the school, realized they had the day wrong, but went to a restaurant to discuss kid related issues. You should give her the benefit of the doubt, but you do have a right to ask her if she really went to the school. You know, it's also possible the cell tower incorrectly located her phone. I've seen them be blocks off, and once even showed my son in the middle of a big river, when he was at a hospital a mile away. Don't accuse, but do tell her that the phone appeared to show the wrong location and ask her if they went somewhere else. Ignore the advice from those women saying you're the problem. If you were a woman asking if your boyfriend was cheating, they would tell you to dump the bastard, because they would say he must be doing something to make you suspicious. Typical female advice: man cheats- man is a pig and you deserve better. Woman cheats- man is a pig and forced her to cheat by not giving her what she needs. If a woman is suspicious, it must be because the man is doing something to make her suspicious. If a man is suspicious, it must be because he's controlling and jealous, but couldn't be that she's given him reason to be suspicious.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2017): Bro, get a grip!!!
Bra straps leave bruises, and women bruise easily anyway.
I find your sudden notice of the bruises suspicious. Your jealousy made you search for something that may have always been there, but went unnoticed; because you had no motivation to find fault until "Baby Daddy" was in the picture.
Well, you stand to lose either-way. If she is in-fact screwing her ex, she will probably leave you. If she isn't, and you have JBS (Jealous Boyfriend Syndrome); that's enough reason to dump you. She's got a child, and she doesn't need your drama. Based on suspicion, insecurity, possessiveness, and jealousy!
You don't trust her. That's why you're checking her body for evidence and following-up on her whereabouts. If you're insecure and don't trust her; get-out now. Her ex is here to stay for the duration. They share a kid.
Who are you, the county coroner? Watching too much CSI on TV???
Finding bruises is insufficient-evidence of cheating. If you've both recently had intercourse; and you didn't assess the post-coitus damages then and there. You don't have a leg to stand on with your accusations.
Children bruise their mothers all over. So do tight clothing, and rough jealous-boyfriends. Who happen to check five-days later! You associate her time with him as the cause? Prove it!
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (18 September 2017):
 I have to agree with Honeypie.
If you said all the crap to me that you did to your girlfriend I'd kick you to the curb like yesterday's trash.
I too an anemic and I'm a busy person, so I've had many bumps and bruises over the years I couldn't recall having gotten. And I've heard others say the same.
And if the bruises on your girlfriend's back were prominent enough for you to notice them, the fact that you showed not one iota of concern for your her but instead launched into an attack says a great deal about the kind of person you are.
She's not hysterical. She's fed up.
She's got a child to raise, an ex to maintain a civil relationship with, a house to run, work, bills to pay and she doesn't need your crap on top of it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 September 2017):
 I get bruises all the time and I have no idea where they come from. I have always bruised easily. But I really don't think I have EVER had bruises from sex (that I know of) Of course if they are having sex in weird places, perhaps - though why would they? in front of their kid? doubtful.
Why is your first knee-jerk reaction to accuse her of cheating? When you see a bruise on her?
Are you often accusing her of cheating?
HAS she ever cheated on you (that you can actually prove)?
I think, accusing someone of cheating with ABSOLUTELY no proof, is shooting you in the foot. Because IF they are cheating they will know to be WAY more careful in the future. If they are not you obviously do not trust them and then the question arises - WHY are you with someone you don't trust?
TBH:
The reason I bruised so easy was due to anemia, which has since been treated. So it was a sign that stuff was off in my body. People with diabetes, very pale skin (me also) vitamin D deficiency or the sun damaged skin, vitamin C deficiency (scurvy - yes weirdly enough some people in this day and age DO have that issue as well). I still get bruises because I don't live my life wrapped in bubble wrap.
I would be absolutely LIVID if my husband accuses me of cheating due to having bruises.
So I have to ask, WHY is cheating your FIRST reaction and why accuse with no proof? It makes you look insecure and distrustful.
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