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She has been swapping nude pics with her ex, should I forgive or move on?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 December 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 17 December 2009)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've been going out with my current girlfriend for a little over six months. She is my age and has a son that is almost two. I knew she had a son and there for would be around her ex more then any of my other girlfriends but, was willing to try and help her raise him since the father only came in town once every month. Our relationship was fine in till her ex broke up with his current girl friend and tried to rekindle their relationship. She was openly honest about this and it didn't really bother me. Since then our relationship has been more tense and she just reveled to me that she has been talking with him more which i wasn't happy about but like i told her i thought i was better for her son if the father was in the picture more. She then told me that she wasn't only talking with he they had been sending naked pictures to each other via cell phone. I've been thinking this confirms my belief that she suffers from sexual addiction. I feel like this is partially my fault since I've been away at school I've only been spending the weekends with her. She says that this isn't considered cheating since nothing physical took place which i know is true since here ex lives a three hour drive away but, i feel like this will happen again in the future if she truly is addicted to sex. I guess my question is should i forgive and forget or do i deserve better and should leave her.

View related questions: broke up, her ex, move on, nude pictures

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009):

Ask this question to yourself."should i forgive and forget or do i deserve better and should leave her."That is the first step to any problem.

None of us know her.It seems like there is still something between her and her ex.Give her some time to understand herself.If you can't stand being one of the two give her an ultimatum.She has a child with him.That complicates things further.He is not a random guy to be completely ignored.Think carefully.Listen to your heart.Its always right.

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (17 December 2009):

Honeygirl agony auntBy sending naked pics of herself.. she is cheating!! By telling you what she has done she has absolved herself from being guilty.

Sorry but I think the pics are the start of the affair... it wont be long before she is sleeping with him...

Sorry!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009):

I would say forgive and forget if she handled the situation differently. If she came to you and wanted to tell you what she did and apologized, and you cared about her, that is one thing. But she came to you and acted like it was no big deal, but she needed to tell you. Well that's wrong.

You don't just send nude pics. Her ex didn't just call and say "Hey did you catch American Idol last night? Oh and send me a nude picture of yourslef. I need it for an art class." By the time you are sending nude pictures to someone there has been flirting, intimate conversations, and sexual talks. There are steps to get to nude pictures. So she can say its not cheating. But just because she didn't physically sleep with him, doesn't mean they didn't talk about it, have phone sex, or share sexual fantasies. Whatever happened was very inappropriate for someone in a relationship.

And she seems to think that if she just tells you after it happens, everything is good between you two. That is dangerous thinking.

If she truly has a sexual addiction like you are thinking, that is going to be many, many years of pain for you because she will always be cheating on you.

I would not be suprised if she already has. Sometimes people just tell half truths to get some of the guilt off their chests. So she'll say she sent nude pictures to make her feel better about what she maybe doing.

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A female reader, Sadnat South Africa +, writes (17 December 2009):

Sadnat agony auntmove on she is cheating on you!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009):

If you're uncomfortable with what she's doing, then you deserve better. If she continues to communicate with her ex in that way, then eventually it's going to go downhill especially if he gets closer to her. Tell her to listen to her heart and be happy. Take some time off from the relationship so that she can recollect her thoughts and you as well. If you're planning to marry her eventually then let her do whatever she wants so that once you're married it wouldn't be an issue of curiosity since it looks like the ex and your gf is curious about each other right now. Unless a marriage is involved, dating should be the process of fulfillment of the mind and body so once married, the soul can be at peace. Good Luck! :-)

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